Saturday, June 16, 2007

drowning. blurrb blurrblub.

I cannot believe it.

I cannot believe I'm giving a presentation within 4 days of starting the internship.

I cannot believe my boss commented so thoroughly on the prepared slides that I'd have to make some changes.

MAJOR changes.

During the weekend.

Which means more research.

Revamped formatting.

And memorising every single fact so that they can question me on any point and I can answer.

On my supposed down time.

I am going to puke.

I cannot believe this internship gives me more stress than school projects.

I cannot believe I have to WORK THROUGH THE WEEKEND.

I'm afraid my boss thinks I'm super woman and I cannot reveal to him that I'm actually a fake.

And at the end of the day, when I am so stressed and blue, there's no one to hold my hand because I bloody chose not to. Grrrrreeeaaat. The irony is, I can't let anyone in now when I'm so vulnerable, because I can't let them see me as a charity case.

I want you to hold my hand so bad, but I can't - this is the path I chose. It's a lonely road but it's where I have to go, just because.