Thursday, September 29, 2005

lesson #238: am i just my boyfriend's girlfriend

Feel like I'm being swallowed into his circle. Spent more time with his friends than my friends for the last few weeks due to working arrangements. The people we lunch with are his group mates. The people we dine with are of Asoc blood. I feel overshadowed by him and his whole 'gang'.

I lost track of when I last laughed out loud genuinely, when I last had a scandalous confidential gossip with my babes, when I last walked out of school during break to shop or eat at Raffles City.

And I'm freaking pissed at myself for being so busy. For having to distance myself because I haven't the time to socialise. When the hell did I last go for a frivolous night out?

And I really don't know who're my real friends in school anymore. Some friends have become acquaintances and I don't know how to react to that.

And my birthday is a week from now but I can't get excited about it. G said, "If you're expecting an iPod Nano from me, then sorry I won't get it." Like I had given him a mandate to get me an iPod Nano? Somehow it irritates me when people perceive me as more material-girl than I'd like to be seen as.

I don't care what present you give me as long as you remember.

And my friends and I are supposed to celebrate it at Momo next Friday but I don't know who to call out because as mentioned above I don't know who my friends are anymore (except for... you all know who you are). I don't want to invite people who then will say, "Sorry, I don't think I will come / No mood / Eh, let's see how busy I am."

The alphabetical contrast:

A - can you don't promise stuff when there's a great possibility that you can't fulfill them.
B - I don't need someone who looks right through me.
C - Don't fake being nice because that's worse than being outright bitchy. You make me puke.

VVVV - I miss you you biiiitch!
Y(ang) - you make me laugh in Comp Law class!
Z(hi) - what would I do without your Kopi Tiam hugs.

G - is cutting his hair at Shunji Matsuo now. I kinda forced him to upgrade. He normally cuts at Far East for $12 a pop. I love my men coiffed! Oops did I say men? I mean man. Singular. Lalala...

I - need a break.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

lesson #196: and the most boring book award goes to...

Auditing
Assurance & Risk
W. Robert Knechel

I just can't believe how friggin' boring Audit is! REALLY. Everytime I attempted any readings, I'll start fidgeting by around the fifth page. What a y-a-w-n. The paragraphs are just so long, and there's the niggling feeling that the author just don't know how to get his points across concisely, and that's why he's going round and round and you don't know why the heck he spent so long just to explain a single concept. Just to explain an example, he wrote like this:

this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this

ARGH!

Just don't see the point. Actually, what's the whole purpose of studying Audit anyway? So you study how risky your client is. If the client's low-risk, then you can do less tests. If the client's high-risk, you either avoid or do more tests. If their reports are fishy, you put a disclaimer saying you can't give an opinion. I can summarize the whole bloody book in just two words - be careful. Can you believe wasting $42 just to learn those two words? Dayum. Even my kid brother knows that, and all he does all day is play Maple Story.

-- BITCH MODE NOW ON --

I can do this shit. So you can just take your condescending hand off my ass and harrass someone else. Fucking bitch.

-- BITCH MODE NOW OFF --

Watched ANTM just now. Felt sad for Michelle... Feel like I could connect with her and feel what she felt. The whole 'doesn't belong' thing totally sucks. Sometimes you just wanna curl up inside and die. Okay, well, maybe not die as such. Maybe just fall into a coma in which you dream a nice dream with say, Orlando Bloom inside. Seriously though, it must've been really tough for her. I don't think she's weak. She's pretty strong to have weathered it so far. It's the first time watching ANTM had evoked such sad emotions in me. Also can sympathize with Brittany and the whole giraffe thing. It's not nice to be teased. I make conversations about shallow things most of the time, because when it gets to the deep stuff, I feel like in deep shit. Sometimes it's best not to reveal the more fragile side of you.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

lesson #230: SCREAM!ing

Had Asoc Day meeting with the new event subcom yesterday, lots of enthusiasm and creativity thrown around. After that rushed to the Big Step to watch Zhi's band, The Jazz Trio. Zhi and Ivy can really sing!


Ivy & Zhi


I just had to put this pic up, cos the both of them look so adorable! My babe Zhi with her beau.


The OG! 611 and 612, weren't they? Earlier on me and Yang had a Comp Law presentation in which he wowed the class with his acting abilities (as an insane person).


All together now! Gary (his nice T-shirt says: Bird Watching - Nice Tits), me, Zhi, Marc and Yang.


The EIC people were soooo good! Rekindled my admiration for them. Thought that they were only capable of singing Maroon 5 covers. But yesterday they sang Drive, Chariot, and You're Beautiful (among others) wonderfully.


He sang You're Beautiful really really well! Sigh.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

lesson #255: what you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk

Listening to My Humps in a lib Project Room. Experiencing a brief lull in which I'm not exactly sure what to do. I have Company Law readings, Audit assignment to start on, Corp Reporting quiz to study for but I know, just for a moment, I can delay doing all of the above. Tomorrow everything will start fast-forwarding again so I really should do something now but I haven't got the mood nor the urgency to do so.

Surprisingly, I'm getting quite excited over Asoc Day. I discovered that Shawnie Poo is a really creative person with plenty of good ideas in his head. And he's great because he hardly ever slams down ideas from other people. I mean, it's nice to feel that your ideas are appreciated. Am feeling quite sad though that we have to downscale the plans in extremes due to a tight budget.

Arts Fest was yesterday and I felt pretty good about it. I think we did a reasonably good job and we finally did justice to our bash choreo. Looking back at the videos (dance peeps - let me know if you want them, will send via MSN), it's amazing how coordinated we were, moving to the beat at exactly the same time. Especially for self-choreo - sure we made mistakes, but the unity covered it up and to an outsider's eyes it was a great performance. I finally understand what Emi said about feeling each other's presence. Good job girls!


Fen came to watch our performance(s)! And she won a couple-dance contest held during the concert interval. Did the couple dance with Gary. You were great babe! Isn't her fringe nice? Thanks for the flower!


Me with Jonny. He's such a goof! Actually we both posed with these faces without realising that the other one was doing the same face too. Haha! Taken using his camera. I wonder what brand it was. The colours are nice!


Jun exuding sex appeal and me being exuded sex appeal. I can't take my eyes off her deriere (or however you spell it) when she's wearing our dance costume. Jun... I suggest you keep that pair of pants. It looks really good on you. REALLY.


Me with Michelle. The M&Ms! You can't really see it in this picture, but her eye make-up was done really well. Greenish hue with a tinge of pink. She looks really pretty here!


For some unknown reason, Syd always looks hot whenever we take pictures in our bash costume. Babe, send me the pics from your camera k!

Friday, September 16, 2005

lesson #248: a frustrated masochist

My Dynamic Duo ulcers (or should I say Siamese twins ulcers, since they are back-to-back?) are still here. I feel like just grinding them together with my teeth and tasting the blood that'll flow out. Just crunch the shit out of them. Would have done that if not for the fact that I'm smart enough to know that this action will result in yet even more multiple baby ulcers, enough to paralyze half of my mouth.

Yup. On to less morbid stuff.

Looks like I'm getting a grip on the TA stint. I surprised myself by sounding quite knowledgeable during a TA consultation with a freshie early this morning. Am just hoping that less and less people will come for consultation. Attempting MA questions is such a chore! It feels like I'm taking one additional module this term.

Attended a brainstorming session for Asoc Day which lasted for 2.5 hours (yeah, I know, gross). I think I've been made overall in-charge for this event. I'm not sure, but I think I was made president. I was really rather reluctant at first as I foresee a lot of work having to be done in a very short time span. But I think I agreed in the end. I'm not sure. I'm feeling a lot of conspiracy going on. It might just be that Gary told his friends that he wanted me to be in charge, and they're just playing along.

Oh well, whatever. The theme we're looking at has something to do with Oedipus complex.

Interesting, isn't it.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

lesson #250: behold the wonder of midnight wisdoms!

Getting extremely lazy nowadays. Had the shortest project meeting in the history of project meetings because I was too lazy to brainstorm for ideas. And now it's 1.40 AM and despite knowing full well I have an 8.30 class tomorrow, I'm still online for mainly two reasons: a) Shawn asked me to wait for half an hour to show me a masterpiece of his (some Asoc stuff, same old same old) and b) I am too lazy to sleep. Really. I'm too lazy to shift positions, turn off the lights, and close my eyes. I'm too lazy to face tomorrow. I'm too lazy to pack the various dance costumes into my already bulging bag.

Read Gary's blog. It was so maudlin. Sometimes we lose focus on the really important things in life. Our main goal should be to seek happiness rather than any of the other stuff. If becoming over-achievers makes us so stressed out until we can't really feel happy anymore, then what's the point of doing it? Ironically, it's really quite simple to attain happiness. All you need to do is smack that bitch of an ulcer up and wait 'til it goes away and then you can feel happy. Or maybe I'm just biased.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

lesson #234: what a pain in the butt

Or rather, mouth. Am having a numbingly painful ulcer. Trying to speak up in class has become a real trial of late since it's quite hard to sound intelligent while your teeth are rubbing against the swollen part of your mouth. And did I mention it is DAMN PAINFUL? As a result I have a craving for ice cream now, only its icy cool texture can calm the wrath of the ulcer. Was out with Syd after class earlier today and we had New Zealand ice cream. Thinking of popping by their outlet at Raffles City again tomorrow before going for my very first project meeting of this term.

We were at Raffles City to check out the MAC counter and see what we can buy. Discovered that for once Syd can be more indecisive than me, which is a relief. Speaking of which, babe, finalise your decision soon and let me know! The goods will be bought this Friday.

Have been spending less time with Gary. Which is good in a way. People finally ask me about other stuff other than, "How are things with Gary?" (which coincidentally is quite a tough question to answer without sounding either utterly boring or utterly scandalous). I predict that over the coming months we'll be even more separated due to his involvement in Asoc (yeah, what's new right). Might be singing a different tune later on but for now, I can sincerely say that I'm fine with it. I like the fact that I'm slowly gaining my independence back.

PS: What's a good club that plays R'nB on a Friday? Trying to plan an innocent birthday outing. At first was thinking of Zouk but then there's the darned renovation.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

lesson #252: hi, I am your TA

Hi guys, Monica here! I'll be the TA on duty on Mondays 1-3 pm. Like Shawn, I'd prefer it if before coming for consultation you drop me an e-mail. Maybe you'd wanna mention which specific questions you're stuck with as well so that I can make the necessary preparations to go through them in more details. You can also MSN me to let me know.

See you at Acc Lvl 5 5047!

Mon

---

hallo... org indo si keliatannya.. I think you're in dance.. hi, I'm your junior then.. :) F, A and I are coming for your consultation on monday approximately at 1 k? my no is ********.
We're gonna ask you about the assignment questions

1

22 Aug - 28 Aug
Role of MA

Exercises 1.1 to 1.3

2

29 Aug - 4 Sep
Cost, Cost Behaviour & CVP

Ex 2-12; Prob 2-14 & 2-22
Ex 5-3, 5-5, 5-10; Case 5-26
Ex 6-13 & 6-15; Prob 6-18

3

5 Sep - 11 Sep
Job Costing

Ex 3-6, 3-7 & 3-9;
Prob 3-19, 3-22 & 3-28
Case 3-35

Yep. THanks a million! :)))))))

oliv

---

...

Shit.

---

Oh, with regards to the previous post (self-choreo), it wasn't supposed to be an angry post! My words just have a tendency to be a little on the caustic side I guess. Feel bad for making Jun worry. Relax babe, it's nothing that we all can't overcome together.

lesson #256: fasten your seatbelts for a long read

Have got so many things to say, I'm not sure where to start. Hmmm. Let me start with my Hairy Experience.

1.0 (My Hairy Experience)

Went to Yess at Cineleisure Level 3 on Wednesday to do root-retouch as well as straightening. My hair's gotten flaky of recent so I thought it's about time to make it shiny straight again. Well, all I can say is, it was a damn big mistake. The colour they gave me was okay enough. Copper brown, just enough red in it to fit my skin tone. The straightening was a bit fucked up. Well, okay, A LOT fucked up.

If you happen to be adventurous enough to go to Yess (which I highly discourage you to, waiting time is a pain), don't let the skinny small-eyed pale Chinese guy touch your hair, AT ALL. He's a lousy trainee. And he butchered my hair. I didn't even set an appointment with him, but rather with a female senior stylist, but she was so In Demand that he did most of the tedious job while she just supervised. Pfft. He made the ends of my hair like, super frazzled because he abused the straightening tool. I kicked up a fuss, the senior stylist trimmed my ends, cut off the frizzy parts, and gave me a free treatment. But I was still pissed. I think that stupid fucking ninny ought to pay for the shit job he did! Fucking nitwit.

2.0 Yesterday: Shopping Spree

Met up with Zhi in town for a bout of dinner and shopping. She was feeling a bit down, but I'm glad that she had fun nevertheless. Dinner was at Big O, and this will sound funny but it's the truth - we binged on Caesar salad, calamari, and mozzarella sticks. Everything came in a portion for one and we shared all the dishes but we still became so full that we didn't manage to polish even half of the food.

Made a (long) pit-stop at Mango and guess what? After much pain born by Zhi due to my indecisiveness, I managed to make up my mind and actually buy a pretty ivory (Zhi insists it's khaki) jacket! Wheee! It's $99 but I think it's worth it! It just looks really really nice and classy. Finally I can withstand the cold of seminar rooms with style.

After which Gary picked us up and he sent Zhi to her home sweet home. Zhi recommended a chill-out place for us to go to, called Cozy Bay. Bought white wine, Woodbridge (the shade is a peachy colour, which was sooo pretty!) and it tasted pretty good. We were sitting at the top of this tower which overlooked some river. Incidentally when we first came, I saw this guy bending on one knee in front of his girlfriend. Thought it was romantic at first but then on second thoughts, the guy might just be puking.

Anyway, Cozy Bay's staff are totally inefficient. The girl serving us filled the ice bucket only a quarter full. Like, what the? How is the wine supposed to get chilled when only the bottom of the bottle is touching the ice? And she needs to learn how to pour wine. She poured til 3/4 of the wine glass was filled. Urm. Right. I reeeaally wanted to stop her but never mind. I was nice and kept quiet and exchanged bitchy glances with Gary.

3.0 Today: Picture-crazy!

Had self-choreo dance practice today. Then I went home to rest for a while before setting off for town to meet Gary. We were gonna watch a movie (Red Eye) and eat a nice dinner at Pepper Lunch. Yum yum! I took my baby camera out for a walk and here are some pictures.


Taken at Lido escalators! Were booking tickets for Red Eye.


Before: At Pepper Lunch, while waiting for our sumptious meals to arrive.


After: At Pepper Lunch, chillin' with a cool Mango jacket.


The many faces of Gary Part II. From looking handsome *cough* to utterly bloated.

4.0 Self-choreography

Eight of us in Emix are supposed to come up with our own original choreography for an item that's to be showcased at Arts Fest. So far four 8s of my choreography have been used, and I'm pretty proud of them. I think my steps look good. Haha. But that aside, this self-choreo rigmarole has brought out the worse side of people. Some people may comment that although the self-choreo item is supposed to be a joint project for all 8 of us, it's turning out to be an exco-self-choreo item.

Some of the exco personnel have taken over finalising the sequence of the steps, coming up with the formation, and creation of steps. I guess that's the privilege of being in charge. But actually I would like an avenue for me to grow and improve as well. I want to make something of my own. I'm not really concerned about the situation now though... Can't really be bothered. Let them do what they want. Let her do what she wants.

Now if I were to put myself in the shoes of an exco member, I know it's hard to please everyone. It's hard enough to try to put everything together without people saying things that put you down or make you feel stressed out. But when you become an exco, you lose that privilege of slacking and being ordinary. You can't expect the ordinary members to understand you anymore. You have to accomodate not just yourself, but other people. And that's what being a leader is all about. Sacrificing what you think is best for what others think is best. And you can't show your emotion. You can't show that you're angry, or upset, or feeling weak. Most difficult of all, you have to order people around without them feeling like they are being ordered around, or like they're being treated as slabs of meat. You can't even excuse yourself by saying that you're new because, well, people just don't care. It's tough, I can tell. That title didn't come in a pretty little package without some shit up its sleeves.

Don't let us be two separate cliques. That's just sad.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

lesson #216: if only army was like this

Me, Candace, Nic, Mich and Syd for Freshman Bash performance.


Syd looks especially hot in this picture! I love her skin tone! L-R: Syd, me, Nic, Mich, Kunz and Can.


The Bash Girls posing with Andrew (our pimpin' host for the night), Alex and Nic (Pres).

Basically I'm posting the pictures that are already on Syd's blog. Haha. Don't we look nice in our costumes! Too bad our performance didn't live up to standard. Bah.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

lesson #236: RESPECT!

Everything is new new new and FRESH this week! How are ya likin' the new skin? I wanted this to be just a temporary skin while I try doing a pastel-coloured one but I've decided to make this one a long-term skin because I am lazy. Got this Missy skin off Blogskins, but of course I made a few slight alterations, cos I'm anal.

Bought a new camera, anti-shake Casio Z110 from Comex IT Fair! It was priced at $459, and I'm not sure if that's a good bargain but I'm perfectly happy with my purchase. Still haven't gone past the adjusting and fooling around with the cam settings stage yet. The picture quality is very sharp, but the pic size remains rather big even when I've resized it to fit into this blog box so I shall have to take some pictures with lower megapixels next time. Here are some virgin photos taken by my stunning new camera!


Taken yesterday at the get-to-know-freshies session with Emix. L-R, top to bottom row: Kunz, Akansha, Nora, Jun, Candace, Celine, Nic Lee, Syd, me, Vida, and Jess.


If you noticed, the color balance in this pic is slightly different than the one above. Orange tones due to day-capturing settings. Jess doing her famous pout with Syd. Took this picture with no preparation, they only had to pose for an instant and the picture was captured straight away! I love anti-shake.


Even young, gullible boys are stunned by the beauty of my camera!

Signed my TA 'contract' just now. Soon I shall be bombarded with job/process costing questions by eager and enthusiastic freshies. Hope at least one of them is cute. Tee hee! Don't worry Mr Gary, I shall go by a strict see-but-no-touch policy!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

lesson #226: freshman bash performance could've been better

Our dance pres Nic asked me if I was okay yesterday during our rehearsal. Said I was not like my usual self. Suddenly I'm forgetting steps, stumbling and getting clumsy overall. And I felt that yesterday wasn't my best, either. One of the factors being the annoying nagging pain of misplaced muscle/nerve (the one I pulled). It's the joint connecting the thigh and groin area, so everytime I bend down and lift up my right leg it hurts like *toot*. Without the nagging pain I would've done better. But still, there was something else.


Which I'm not sure what, but I know it's not just the pain that's preventing me from doing my best.


I feel like I wasn't concentrating at all. I had to listen hard to catch the music. Most annoyingly, I had to put in a lot of effort to remember the sequence of steps when usually I don't even need to think as I dance. I don't know why I was so distracted yesterday. Is this what they call being jaded? I didn't feel any adrenaline rush when we were on standby. At the end of the day, I was so disappointed with my performance that I didn't even react when someone told me I had the best bod (eh, I don't actually... It's just a clever illusion from the fit of the tee and skirt).


I could've been better. I have to outdo myself. I have to be better than the Patron's Day performance. I will NOT slip under, I will NOT be complacent. I will perfect everything before the next performance. Girls, we can do better. We shall be perfect! Repeat after me: perfect with a purr! Gary think our performance was so-so. If he still thinks that way after watching our next performance, I will eat my shoe.


Eh, speaking of shoes, I've just bought a pair of x:odus slippers. Pink satin! With a bow at the side. Pretty pretty at $39.90. Next market research topic is JACKET! I want a denim one. Or a classic sturdy woolen white one. Or a dirty/washed-out green one. Or a pink one with a nice corsage on the collar. Or a cool Adidas white/baby pink zip-up, the one Missy Elliot wore for the poster.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

lesson #182: of wilde things and losing control

Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray has a fascinating concept. The language is a little hard to digest though. Every single sentence in the entire story is so loaded with meaning, intensity, and witticism that it feels like information overload. It also borders on being morbid at times, and you get the feeling that Wilde rates the value of art above humanity. But I like it overall 'cos it has an interesting ending (which wouldn't be so interesting if not for the build-up which happens throughout the book).


Freshmen Bash at Chinablack is tomorrow. Strangely enough, I'm not feeling jittery or excited or anything. I think it's only when it's nearer to performance time, when you can hear the hubbub of the crowd surrounding the stage, that the adrenaline will come rushing in. Then again, not sure how much of a hubbub it'll be tomorrow seeing as we'll be the opening act at 8.45 pm. Try counting the number of people you know who clubs at 8.45 pm. Well anyway, you all had better come and watch us perform because I went to buy the skirts (part of costume) at the expense of doing work and readings and had much difficulty in obtaining the skirts and it was freaking hot and stuffy and I'll feel indignant if our late-night practices result in only a handful of people watching, a hundred percent of which is made up of the bash organizers.


There's a good thing that came out of the practices though. I'm proud to officially announce The Return Of The Abs. Kinda saw a sliiight hint of them yesterday when I angle myself in a certain direction. Ahem. Shall develop them further by doing crunches and leg-ups, though I can't really do leg-ups now because I've pulled a muscle during practice.


On to money matters! Mum sent an SMS this morning confirming the arrival of my long-overdue Pan Pac paycheck so yay to that. Shall cash it in tomorrow. Also awaiting scholarship allowance, due to be credited in two days. Double yay! Can't wait to go to Forever 21 and do, erm, market research.