Thursday, June 21, 2007

the expected burnout

Yup... I burned out... Had to take MC today because overnight I morphed into the Cold Monster - with spinning head, phlegm shots and red nose glory.

I know I should be cursing work and stuff but I'd like to let you in on a little secret. So come here, come closer. Need to whisper it in your ear...

I love my job.

Wouldn't trade it for any other in the world. I realise this is a special internship. One where they do not equalise the word 'intern' with 'data entry, brainless work, photocopying / coffee-making extraordinaire'. They treat an 'intern' as a 'potential employee' - someone who breathes, lives, thinks, and hopefully doesn't make too many mistakes.

They want to hear my view, they want to see my research. And that's all thanks to my boss, who treats me with respect from the get-go and pushes me to do better.

I should be lounging around and sleeping off this MC day, but I've just spent a couple of hours tidying up my work because I know it matters. And it will be used as a jump-off point, just like the previous presentation.

This cold is annoying. I hope tomorrow I'll be much better. I NEED to go to work. I need to perform. I need to show them that I CAN.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

drowning. blurrb blurrblub.

I cannot believe it.

I cannot believe I'm giving a presentation within 4 days of starting the internship.

I cannot believe my boss commented so thoroughly on the prepared slides that I'd have to make some changes.

MAJOR changes.

During the weekend.

Which means more research.

Revamped formatting.

And memorising every single fact so that they can question me on any point and I can answer.

On my supposed down time.

I am going to puke.

I cannot believe this internship gives me more stress than school projects.

I cannot believe I have to WORK THROUGH THE WEEKEND.

I'm afraid my boss thinks I'm super woman and I cannot reveal to him that I'm actually a fake.

And at the end of the day, when I am so stressed and blue, there's no one to hold my hand because I bloody chose not to. Grrrrreeeaaat. The irony is, I can't let anyone in now when I'm so vulnerable, because I can't let them see me as a charity case.

I want you to hold my hand so bad, but I can't - this is the path I chose. It's a lonely road but it's where I have to go, just because.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

examoverplayslackgooutdancestartwork

BAH...

Exams over but somehow I still find myself busy. OK so the past few days been busy playing; watched movies, went for dinner, played games and attended some poker rounds. But then in between there was also dance. And I'm starting to feel the weight of the rehearsals. 4 out of 7 days is getting a bit too much especially with my intern starting on Wed. But who am I to complain? I really did ask for it when I didn't pull out of some of the items. Budden at that time who woulda known that I'd actually find an intern?

It's fine. Gruelling exercise + gruelling work = skinny me. Or maybe = binge-eating me. Hopefully it's the first equation.

Anyhohoho, I consider myself rather lucky to have a boss who plays Hold'em. As long as he doesn't rope me in to play his high-stakes games I should be financially fine. Heh.

Don't know what else to write. My life pretty boring now. My plan to gamble, drink and misbehave may not work out in the end if I'm too tired to move by the weekend! Maybe I should close blog like Syd did... There's simply nothing sensational or melodramatic going on! Bleah. But at least I'm not as unlucky as the ang moh fella in the vid...

Sunday, June 03, 2007

you'd never guess who's in Fergie's music vid!

Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie



I cannot believe Fergie got to kiss Peter Petrelli. And I cannot believe she left him. Like, hello? Can't see a good thing when it hits you right dere on de lips?? Does she not know that he radiates heat??? He also flies, regenerates, moves things with his mind, paints the future and (soon to be seen I hope) time travels.

... Drool.

And by the way. That hat, that outfit... define new boundaries for fugly.

Sigh... I want to kiss Peter Petrelli too! Sylar infatuation gone - being a psycho super villain he'd as soon kill you as take you out on a date - not good for health.

Umbrella - Rihanna



Don't really like her but have to admit this vid is pretty hot at times (she looks rather like Victoria Beckham at first tho). Having said that, compared to other peeps like Ciara or even Beyonce, this chick just cannot dance.

Stress relief time over back to AFA I agree wit Jess YouTube is evil and Blogger too and MSN and gossip blogs!

Friday, June 01, 2007

the post with no title

Meh. Finally have some time to blog. I can't imagine how busy I've been the past few weeks. Usually my MSN status is 'Busy' but I'd be 'Busy' watching Heroes or playing online poker. But now I'm so busy I can't even afford to chat. So sorry if I've been dao, I must've been either really distracted or AWOL at the time.

Speaking of MSN status, rumor has it that some people actually put their status as 'Busy' / 'Away' just to appear cool. Errmm? OK. The only reason I never ever am plainly 'Online' is because I hate the noises MSN makes whenever a chat line is delivered / someone comes online. You know, how it goes 'da-da-doink!'. Friggin' irritating when you're trying to concentrate on a really good hand. I'll admit it, I love being 'Busy'! You can't get nudged and MSN shuts all the way up. (Aye, I realize alternatively I could just mute my whole laptop, but then what happens when I want to listen to iTunes? Also, muting doesn't solve the annoying nudges).

Why on earth am I blabbering on about MSN? Maybe it's because...

Am rather stressed about the coming exams. Suddenly I just feel a sudden NEED to maintain my GPA and after much thorough calculations (or not) I realize I need to get at least 2 A+'s out of the three accounting subjects I'm taking. The remaining one has to be graded at least an A.

HOW TO NOT BE STRESSED?

I've never been this stressed since O Levels. The only difference is back then I was stressed because I was scared that I couldn't cram enough info into my cranium. Now I'm stressed because I just can't be bothered to memorize a single shizz. And because deep down I kinda know the feat I'm about to try to pull off is, well, Mission Impossible:4.

Fo' shizzle!

Speaking of shizzles...



HOLY SHIT!!!