Tuesday, January 30, 2007

what it is i do not know, but you make me wanna let it go!

No music vids this time, but rather something infinitely better... Eurhythmix's Patron's Day 2007 performance! Woooooot!



I really liked our costumes this time around. Very grungy / sexy! Think the second chorus was where everyone moved the neatest, especially the tall girls on stage! Very nice babes. Emix rocks! Yay!

Looking back, I can't believe this is the third Patron's Day we've done together. Time sure flies. It might even be our last. Now every performance we do brings us closer to the end, to that moment when we'll have to move on with our lives and embrace the corporate world.

We've grown so much, we're now the oldest generation of Emixers still in SMU! Can't believe it. We've all metamorphosized into beautiful butterflies from our caterpillar selves in year 1 (cock makeup, cock hair, cock facial expressions! Haha). I'll sure miss it when it's over... Sigh.

Disclaimer: OK. In almost all of the photos below, the angle of my face & the expression are all identical. I didn't mean to imitate a wooden doll, but was pressed for time when snapping pics so the automatic pose that came out was that one!!


Prep @ CCA Room. Was rather frantic because there were so many of us! I don't know what Yiwei was trying to do in this pic.


Pretty Syd did her makeup and hair extremely fast so she helped me curl my hair.


Lixin. To state that she's the best dancer Emix has is like stating that the sky is blue, or that we humans have two legs (except for some men who claim they have tripods. HAH!)


Posing with Kunali, the nice chocolate Justin gave all of us, and my welcome note back (it says 'welcome back').


Candace looks so cute!! Hahah!


Celine's complexion is so smooth! Maybe I should pose like that too so that my skin will look flawless! Mich in the centre's leaving for Jap soon.


With Jess, who was rushing her eye makeup but still managed to make it look nicer than mine! Bleurghh. When are you going to give us makeup lessons??


Livin' la VIDA loca!


After our short performance it's time to go hoooome. With the year 1 boys! Edward, Kenneth, Ryan!


Year 1 babes! Syn Yi looks hawtttt in her hot pants!


With my babe Syd! Thanks for helping me get the hair mask :)


With JX who came to watch our perf and came to look for us even though he was extremely sick... Poor Jianxiong get lots of rest all rightey?

Had a fattening dinner after our performance was over. Headed to Crystal Jade XLB and ate loads. Excellent company and excellent dinner conversation (about Bermuda triangle, alternate dimensions and doppelgangers)!

Monday, January 29, 2007

hold 'em right there!

Poker is all about knowing what your opponent's cards are, what he thinks you have, and what he thinks you think he has.

Just watched Eli Elezra play on YouTube... He's so adorable! Successful businessman AND a great poker player - the kind of hubby any woman would like. Goes to show, the rich gets richer all the time. And of course after watching I was inspired to play on Full Tilt... but only got 3rd position. B - L - A - H. I blame it on strange flops. Whenever I throw away smaller hands like 4 - 9 or J - 7 or 8 - 10, I'd flop tups! Cue much frustration and agonizing and then I let the past hands affect the current one I play, going all-in on crazy shit like A - 9.

Meh. I don't think I play all that well anymore.

Anyhoo, in 10 minutes I'd have to start putting on make-up and packing up to go to school for the Patron's Day performance. Urgh. Don't know why still so sleepy when I already slept very early yesterday night.

...

Want to play want to play want to play poker again!!!

Being single, dateless and boring has turned me into a Crazy Card Lady.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

drawing blanks

It's official - I've exhausted my store of emotions. Even feelings like anger could only last for mere moments before fading away into nothingness.

If it only stops negative emo's from flooding my thoughts then that's good, but the reality is it blocks off almost everything else.

How do you give when you can't feel?

My story is much too sad to be told
But practically everything leaves me totally cold
The only exception I know is the case
When I'm out on a quiet spree
Fighting vainly the old ennui
and I suddenly turn and -

Friday, January 26, 2007

ring the alarm

She gonna be rocking chinchilla coats
If I let you go
Get in the house off the coast
If I let you go
She gonna take everything I own
If I let you go
I can't let you go, damned if I let you go

Beyonce is the hottest crazy lady I've ever seen.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

if red roses weren't so lovely

Hmmm. Maybe I'm not so okay after all.

say it right

Oh you don't mean nothin' at all to me
No, you don't mean nothin' at all to me

Vat a sad song.

Back To School Bash
















Our trademark pose. I love love love you darlings...

Monday, January 22, 2007

how to write a good essay

Step #1: Wait until 4 days before submission date to start researching

I still haven't done my case study for Entrepreneurship, a course I took in Bath. Gonna write on BreadTalk but now am overwhelmed with the wealth of info at my disposal. I still have to come up with my own graphs, timeline, quotes and shizz like that. Oh well. If I pulled off Treasury in 48 hours I'm sure I could pull this off too.

...

*PANIC!*

Step #2: Conduct research in SMU grounds where the signal strength of the wireless connection is Very Good

I can't even load Yahoo! or Google in SMU nowadays. Took ages to download a picture of the world map (gonna use it to illustrate BreadTalk's franchising efforts... if I eventually get around to doing this paper). Ironically, the only two things that work reasonably fine amidst the sucky connection phenomenon are MSN and Blogger.

Step #3: Rest well to clear the mind

Actually was supposed to start this essay on Saturday, but then decided to take a power nap. The power nap lasted 2 hours 30 minutes longer than intended. When I woke up I had to flap around like a migrating penguin because I was already late for dinner with Mich & Syd and then Bash after.

Step #4: Browse car websites

OK OK I promise I *will* write this essay. But oh, this past Sunday mum and dad were talking about me getting a car and I just can't resist checking out BMW's website...


The BMW M6 Coupé. Pretty huh? Fell in love with it the moment I saw it. Mine in two years!!!!!!!!!!






(Allow me this moment of delusion)

OK OK it's time to go back to procrastinating.

madeline & brandybutter

E-ed came to town recently and we met up for a nice dinner at Sakae (nice because of the company more than the food!) after having not seen each other for more than a year. We should make this our annual meeting! It kinda sucks that I was rather sick though, if not would definitely have stayed out longer with her.


BrandyButter is Syd's new shop-blog. It's a definite must-see! There are all sorts of pretty things there... I really like one of the outfits which is this white dress that was pictured together with a black waist belt and black tights. Really chic!


Pretty! I like the blue ribbon. Heh. Blue's my fav colour now!

Friday, January 19, 2007

and everything around her is a silver pool of light

...

I'm very afraid of falling down if you fall down you hurt your knee and you may not be able to get up again you can't walk don't even talk about dancing nothing could come out right everything will be wrong wrong wrong at the end of it you find yourself hugging you arms cradling to and fro and asking why did you fall down in the first place when you were perfectly all right standing up and walking walking walking

Better not lah.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

cinderella

Was printing FT homework from my parents' room and my bro just happened to be watching Disney Channel. They were showing Cinderella. And so as I waited for my homework to come out I was entertained by some chiruppy song that the mice in the movie were singing.

Ahhh... the magic of Disney. The educational values it imparts! Whoever knew that mice could sing, sew, bake and outwit villainous household pets all at the same time?

Anyhoo, I remembered watching this show as a kid and melting over the charm of the Prince. He was so gallant, so handsome, so... so... brunette.

But now that I think about it, the Prince is just a largely decorative royalty, somewhat dull of mind. Let's reason it out. This guy purportedly fell in love with a woman who was in disguise after only a song and a dance. Err... hello? Isn't there something wrong with that?

He doesn't know shit about her, yet there he goes declaring that he will marry whoever this woman turns out to be!

When she suddenly ran off to God knows where, rather than chasing after her the fella went and shouted for the guards. She is a woman and he is a man. Men have the advantage of muscular strength and could probably outrun any woman of average fitness. Why does he not run after her??

Thirdly and most foolish of all, his way of identifying this mysterious woman is through her shoe size??? Unless Cinderella has extremely small / disfigured feet that glass slipper could've easily fit some other woman's foot. In short, it was a coincidence that he found the correct person.

No no, I just don't see the brains in this guy. I should've idolized the mice all along.

Monday, January 15, 2007

well tie me a bow and give me a ring and what do you get?

Boring.

Boring.
Boring.
Boring.
Boring.

Exactly a week ago from today I was doing stuff 100 times more exciting.

Bleah.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

bleuargahruargarh

This is probably the longest time I've been down with a cold! So frustrating! And to think I thought I was recovering on Monday... Bah this is the last time I will eat Mac's and drink iced tea / Coke / water when I'm sick! I swear!

...

Well maybe I can take just a sip.

Cold Statistics:
# of times bailed out of outings cos of cold: 3
# of times felt miserable in class: 3 (which means all my classes)
# of times coughed per day: 1,028,379
# of times felt like tearing throat open: 5
# of times REALLY REALLY TEMPTED to tear throat open: 1
# of times people asked, "did you go see the doc?": 10
# of times said "no": 10
# of times people commented, "you're gonna cough your lungs out": 2
# of times said "haha": 2

Feeling rather stressed now 'cos have not heard back from the following companies regarding internship application:
HSBC
ML
JP
CS
UBS

Fark. Am I that unwanted???

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

gee are oh gee gee why

Didn't have any class today so technically I should have plenty of time to start working on various homeworks, internship applications and my Entrepreneurship paper. But what did I do instead? Woke up at 11 am, went back to sleep fully intending to wake up again at 1 pm, and then woke up at 4 pm instead.

AARRGGHHH!

So much time wasted. But rest was much-needed as cough's still going strong (very frustrated by that, maybe I should have gone to the doc's). Maybe I'll skip dance tomorrow. If I keep straining myself at this rate I will end up with pneumonia, touch wood.

Started reading George Orwell's 1984. Yes yes I know I'm a mountain tortoise, every other person in the world must've read that book by now and yet I only picked it up a couple of days ago because I was bored. But I think it is a marked improvement since the last piece of literature I savored was The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic. Which was a jolly good read though less thought-provoking.

1984 is a disturbing read. It's set in a world where children beg to watch hangings of war prisoners. Where the only movies shown in theatres are war movies with all the gory details of blown-up bits. Where the slogan is WAR IS PEACE. Where the citizens were obliged to observe daily moments of Hate.

It's so outrageous that it's scary, because it might be real.

Anyhoo... enough of that grim talk. Zee wrote some stuff recently that stuck a chord:

'Where did this grey veil of sian-ness come from, and how did it settle itself over my vision? Hmmm. (...) maybe it's the fact I didn't bring my own laptop to school so have to bum off the library's; maybe it's my lack of a cashcard leading to me not being able to print my class notes for later; maybe it's the utter scariness of being in school with so many people around but not one familiar face (where has everyone gone to?). Aaahh.'

I find familiar faces lacking in SMU as well. When I left for Bath, I left behind several habits and knowledge. As a result:
1. I've forgotten that printing in the library is NOT free.
2. How the hell do you top up your cashcard in school anyway?
3. I forgot we have to contribute and say intelligent-sounding "class participation".
4. I forgot to avoid the smelly toilets in Biz.

Best to buck up soon I s'pose.

On the other hand, I had a very nice dream last night.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

i'm on your back

Tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds
Dreaming aloud

Zee introduced me to this Foo Fighters song while we were still in Bath. Now I've got Walking After You on repeat in my iTunes (as well as putting it on my blog of course). I think you're right babe, the very word to describe the song is poignant.

Why do I feel so tired?

I fell sick on Sunday, recovered on Monday, and had a relapse Monday night. Guess I shouldn't have had strained myself during the day, but I had a great time nevertheless. Met up with Cel for lunch and we had a nice girlie chat.

Question:
Is it girlie or girly?

At times I find myself in very unlikely situations. Situations that, if not for a single triggering event, wouldn't have been possible. Do you find yourself suddenly catapulted into such a position sometimes? I definitely can't say my life is mundane now. It's weird. And bittersweet.

Like how I always thought that days in Singapore and in SMU would be spent in G's company at all times. And then we had that MSN chat on Christmas Eve and suddenly we were no more. And then because of that, I had more time to reflect on friendships. And then because of that, I had a great time hanging out with different people. And then because of that, I feel thankful that even in an environment so thorny as SMU (we all know the amount of gossip flitting around) I have a nucleus of people I can rely on.

And then of course, there are the pals outside SMU.

How do you sleep?

I like to be tangled in my blanket. I'll curl up to one side, and then I'll pull the blanket all the way up to my chin. I like to feel the cool texture of it ooze over my freezing body. It's the most comforting sensation I ever felt while I was in Bath. It feels safe, like a coccoon that I would break free of in the morning, when I'm all new again.

the sweet escape

Saturday, January 06, 2007

shit shit shit

Met up with Jun to return her guidebooks yesterday. The meeting evolved into a group meeting with Kunz, Tiff, Celest and Mich at NYDC and it was really nice just having girly chats. I must say I'm awful glad for their concern over the recent break-up. All of us headed home early and the early night was a welcomed change as well.

In fact I ended up sleeping (falling asleep more like) before 11 pm thus missing my daily freeroll tournament on Unibet. Bah.

I spoke to the girls of being barren yesterday. In the sense that I can see no boys filling up my little black book (not that I have any) (note to self: must buy 2007 daily planner) in the near future. I just don't see any hope. It's like a switch inside me has been turned off - I'm no longer capable of producing & maintaining a sustainable crush on anyone, especially not in SMU.

This might just be a defense mechanism - if I don't feel anything for anyone, then I can't be hurt. Of course, just like in a poker game, if you don't play the hand you have absolutely no chance of winning. I guess I'm just in the risk-averse phase.

Speaking of boys! Despite having been attached approximately 3 times, boys are still a mystery to me. Hence I have the tendency to overanalyse the things that they do.

If someone sends me a love song over MSN, I'd start asking, Why did he send me this song? Was it something in the lyrics? Is he trying to tell me something? Is he interested in me?

If someone asks me to meet up for coffee, I'd think, Is this his way of asking me out? Why does he want to know all about my breakup? Is he interested in me?

If someone offers me his drink at a club, I'd wonder, Is he trying to get me high so he can dance with me? Is he looking at me more than at the other girls? Is he going to make a move on me? Is he interested in me?

As you can see I am rather neurotic. Reading signals when there are none. Guess I'm like that bloke in A Beautiful Mind. I simply MUST change my way of thinking. From now on, no more trying to interpret "subtle hints". I'll simply take the view that we are all friends, we are all neutral, we are all asexual. Any gesture of kindness will be taken at face value and I shall not assume any hidden intentions behind it. Any flirtation would meet with my dead wall of act-blur-ness. I will not let myself fall until I am absolutely certain that you will catch me.

In poker, this would classify as a check-fold tactic when not in possession of the ultimate strongest hand on the table.

Deadly Sin of the Day: Greed

Friday, January 05, 2007

eh...

I don't even know why I'm blogging when I am so darn tired from 3 hours of dance. It was nice that I get to dance rigorously again but at the same time it's TORTUROUS! Walking around with jelly legs now.

It's like 2.30 AM now and I gots to wake up at 8.30 AM so that I can go to MacRitchie with Jing to run my fats off. Apparently she has a sidebet going on with Mike. If we can finish the women's route he will give her 50 bucks. Dayum I also want someone to bet with me! C'mon. Bet that I won't be late for the run tomorrow!

Went Mambo / Phuture / Velvet (ok so they are all @ the same place) (but if I mention all it sounds more cool) on Wed. Didn't really wanna go at first because when I was setting off it was raining cats and dogs and puppies and goats. Just when I sent the SMS to Zhi that I won't be going after all, a cab dropped a lady off at the sheltered lobby right in front of me. That's how lucky? It's equivalent to getting pocket Aces in poker! Damn. Maybe I should've played poker that night instead of clubbing. But still it was an interesting slash different experience, going with Yang, Zhi, Victor, Chok and Zi Kang (who wasn't even there 9/10th of the time).

First day of school today and everyone I recognized (very few people - I seem to know next to noone in SMU nowadays) says I am unrecognizable. Apparently I look different (just like SMU, har di har). I tell ya, it's basically because a) I'm fatter and b) my hair is black & frizzy.

To end this off in a mysterious note:

I don't know what I want. What do you really really want?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

photos

Nicola's farewell dinner








Visit To Royal Crescent






Meetup with Ryan & Jem






Xmas dinner with the couples








Last view of Bath




Chillout @ Clarke Quay




NY Eve gatherings

Monday, January 01, 2007

lesson #070: LoveStoned

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I have to stop and stare
She’s got me LoveStoned and I swear
she’s bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Love this song by Justin T!

I'm officially fat. I was trying on some jeans I used to wear 2 years ago and now I can barely squeeze into them. Shit shit shit. Have to get my tummy flat and my hips less bulbous somehow...

Oh, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Days go by in a blur for me that New Year doesn't feel that special anymore. I'm still in hybernate mode I guess, trying to block away the rest of the world while I recover from jetlag and what-not.