Monday, July 31, 2006

i can see you with nothing on

The song Promiscuous Girl is so damn hot. Love it.

Anyhoo, end of Rummage today. It's quite sad actually... I'll miss hanging out with our adorable Emix boys - Johnny, Weida, Sammy and Melvin. Hope we can still meet up for some fun and merriment even without dance practices to make attendance compulsory! Feel like haven't been spending much time with you all during the two show days ('cuz I keep skipping breakfast and all. Just not a morning person). It feels weird not to be driven home by Mel Mel (altho I'm sure HE is breathing a sigh of relief!).

I can't wait to see you guys perform on Freshman Bash. Feel so proud when I haven't even seen anything yet. I'll be there too so let's support each other k!

Photos of Rummage - The Havoc Backstage coming up soon.

In 2.5 hours' time I'll be leaving for Bintan. Thinking of not sleeping at all 'cos what's the point? But I'm sure in the end I'll just doze off. Done with packing - Syd babe you remember my sexy little one-piece? I'm bringing it! Don't really care about the possible weird tanlines it'll give me. Just feel like wearing it!

Can you ever forgive, if you can't forget? - Carrie Bradshaw, SATC

Sunday, July 30, 2006

lesson #022: speechless

My heart is a mix of emotions right now.

Happy about Rummage.

Confused, bewildered about you.

Sad for her.

Angry for HER.

Excited about the trip.

Apprehensive about the trip.

Worried about the video script and choreography and music and coordinating.

Calm, knowing nothing is permanent and everything will soon pass.

The stage make-up may be off but the glitter in my eyes remains.

Like, literally. I can't take the @$^% glitter off... It's itchy.

Friday, July 28, 2006

lesson #021: happy

Two things arrived in the mail that made me feel happy. One is moolah. A cheque for a bit of money (but not the $100 one... still waiting for that one). The other is... something I've been looking for so long. Something that totally broke my heart when I lost it. Something that brings a smile to my face whenever I look at it, no matter how unhappy I was.

Then again, my mum's giving me a really hard time (think concrete) about the Bintan trip. So maybe the title of this post shouldn't be 'happy'.

I'd better take a look at that 'something'.

...

Aaahh. =)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

lesson #020: the queen of procrastination

I know I have to get out of the house in half an hour's time in order to make it in time for dance and I still need to:

1. Rest for a bit
2. Prepare mesh for finale costume
3. Pack costumes
4. Get dressed

Yet here I am blogging. Overwhelmed with utmost lethargy. Have been for the past few days. Weeks. This morning I woke up at 12 noon when I had a 12 noon lunch arranged. Bad, BAAAAD Mon! Why was I so tired that I conked out for so long, anyway?

*Flashback of yesterday*

Jing came over and we made cheesecake. But it isn't so simple. First we went to Cold Storage to buy the ingredients. Then we walked back to my place for lunch, after which we got the ingredients ready. Bla bla la fast forward a bit and the cheesecake's cooling in the fridge and we gots to wait it out. Took the time to call the Cleo Cover Girl Search Makeover (now that's a mouthful) peeps to arrange for a makeover in Aug (note to self: jot date, time, venue down!). Waited some more to discover cheesecake has not yet solidified. Ate a portion anyway (delishhhhhhhh), put the rest in fridge. Waited some more and ate more half-solid cheesecake while watching SATC.

Then... sudden rush. Prepared for clothes fitting at Buffalo and took the bus down. On the way hopped off bus for express semi-solid cheesecake delivery and then hopped on again. Oh, and also met Kenny on the bus. Talk talk talk, walk walk walk, tried on clothes etc all the way, everything ended pretty late. Cabbed home (le sigh) and then decided to watch SATC 'til the wee hours. Like, 3 am.

Shall be going to Bintan for three days starting on Monday. It's just what I need - a cheap holiday to get away from the stress brought on by my paid-through-nose, expensive European holiday.

Still have 1 more Visa to apply for. ARGGG. Another $100++ coming out of pocket. You know what, five years from now when I'm driving my BMW, I'd look back at all of these and laugh.

Monday, July 24, 2006

lesson #019: when push comes to shove, who shoves the hardest?

Today has been a day full of irritation. Actually it started from yesterday night, but the surprise at the MRT was so endearing that I felt blissful and happy enough to put the anger aside for awhile. This morning it came back when I went down to apply for my UK student visa.

My journey to the Visa Office consisted of:
1. Waiting for a bus
2. Taking the bus down to Newton MRT
3. Waiting for the MRT
4. Taking the north-south line from Newton to Raffles Place
5. Waiting at Raffles Place for the east-west train
6. Dropping a stop later at Tanjong Pagar
7. Walking a distance to the Visa Office

After an hour of travel as described above, I arrived at the office at 12 noon to witness a long queue and to be told by the security guard, "Come back 130. Now 1230 closing. Now long queue. Come back 130."

Me: (flabbergasted) But I came all this way? Can I wait here then?
Guard: Come back 130.
Me: Yes okay 130 but can I wait here in the meanwhile?
Guard: Come back 130. Close 1230.
Me: So you mean you are locking this place at 1230?
Guard: Yes yes come back 130 no more queue.
Me: ... So can I just take a ticket first to get the queue number?
Guard: Come back 130, take ticket.

RAH!

Knowing me, what do you think I did? Obviously I pulled a ticket right in front of him and plopped myself down to a just-emptied seat. And waited. And at 1 pm, I was served at the counter.

When I came back home after repeating the journey above but in reverse, my mom asked me, "Do you know that on your return flight from London, you have 8 hours' worth of transit in Bangkok? Which means your flight will take two whole days?"

Me: No, I didn't.

RAH!

My mom had, before she asked this question, helped me wait for some guy from Muhibbah Travel to come by our house with the plane ticket. And the guy was very very rude. When I talked to him on the phone, I wish I could send a punch wave over the wireless connection and sock him one.

Then she gave me the plane ticket so I could see the 8 hours of transit with my own eyes, and to my slight relief the transit turns out to be for 3 hours, not 8.

In total, for this exchange, I have spent:
$1387 for return ticket Singapore - London
$240 health insurance
$295 UK Visa application

That's close to $2k. And I haven't even left the country yet. Toto, it looks like I'm gonna pay for this exchange through my nose. I'm feeling the financial pinch so hard that when I saw an SMS from Mich asking us dancers if it's okay to contribute another $6 each for costume purposes, I honestly wish I hadn't read it.

I am super flat broke. Flatline. Like when you stop breathing and there's only a strip showing on the hospital monitor, instead of zig-zag lines.

I wish I have a job now. Even that photoshoot gig at MOS which's supposed to nail me $100 hasn't paid off yet. I haven't received the cheque in the mail and what's $100? I'll still have a goddamn $1.9k deficit. Goodness. I dread talking to my dad about money. I have to admit defeat. I still have my European visa to apply for, that'll set me back at least another hundred bucks. I need to be Daddy's Girl again. I need his financial support. Though knowing him he'll prolly expect me to survive on $200 a month, scrimping and saving and eating the remains of another person's char kway teow.

But I digress. Back to what I was irritated about last night. Well, it's got to do with some exchange stuff as well.

You can have what you want so long as it doesn't affect what I want. Don't ask him to change his arrangement. You know you've got company of your own so let me have mine.

I sacrificed a more suitable timing for going overseas and I already gave up my 21st birthday. Maybe that doesn't mean much to you, but to me, that hurts like hell, to miss your own birthday. You only get to be 21 and surrounded with the people you love, all together, once in your life. But I gave it up because of the promise we made. The promise of Fun. Together. If you still remember? Because you were the one to utter the words and I fell for it hook, line and sinker. And after all this, what in the end do I seek? What do I really want?

Just a single acknowledgement to let me know that whatever I gave up is appreciated. Because I feel taken for granted.

I don't blame you. The only person to blame, if any, is myself. I said yes to everything. I've been stupid, saying yes to everything. For going with the flow for so long. Until yesterday.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

lesson #018: london bridge

D'you realize that the catchier songs of recent times are quite monotonous? The melody doesn't go up or down much. And the beat gets repeated over and over. It's amazing that what comes out of it is the kind of stuff you can't get off your head. Examples:

Promiscuous Girl / Nelly Furtado
London Bridge / Fergie
SexyBack / Justin T
Me And You / Cassie
Buttons / PCD

With Buttons being the least monotonous but also the least recent. Hrmmm. Do I sense a formula?

Anyway, London Bridge sounds very reminiscent of Hollaback Girl. But I still kinda like it. How come every time you come around / my London London Bridge want to go down? How come indeed.

Listening to all these songs makes me wanna club-a-dub-dub. But gots to wait til the end of the production. Don't think can afford a hangover at this stage!

Friday, July 21, 2006

lesson #017: dancers' feet ain't pretty

That's my right second toe. As can be seen not only is it a) broken, it is also b) poking out at a slight angle so that you can glimpse the soft flesh underneath. I didn't even realize it was broken until I touched it by chance yesterday. What to do about this? If I peel it off it'll expose the flesh. If I don't, it'll just keep breaking all the way.

Quite devastated about this... Not only will my toe be supremely ugly, I also still really like the pedi and now it's totally ruined. Maybe I should peel off the toenail and frame it. Or hang it around my neck, like a cannibal.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Bring back my toenaaaaaaillll...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

to my girlfriends

I'm sorry dears, let's make things better... do have faith in us. I beg of you.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

lesson #016: you can never go wrong with black

Clubbing night on Fri had an all-black theme (Syd got the inspiration during dance prac the previous day, when we were warming up to Buttons by PCD).


Cheers.


Hmmm... maybe we should start naming our group since we pose together so much. Hows about... Bella Trio? No? Sounds too much like a pizza restaurant?


With Vik, Zouk's dust bin / pavement decorator for the night.


Mich's party was on the next day (Sat). Theme was hard! The Other Side of You. I was a Hopeless Fashion Victim, Syd was... eh... a normal girl, and Jess's Goth.


'Cuz every girl needs her Gingerbread Man. Sweet!

Photos aside! Nursing an extremely painful ulcer at the back of my mouth. It's so swollen that when I rest my chin against my left hand I can feel it throbbing - ba-bonk, ba-bonk, bonk. Can you OD on OJ? 'Cuz I've been drinking the damn Marigold / Fruittree / watchamacallitbrand for days. Finished a carton yet the ulcer... stays. Sigh sigh sigh.

Every time I attempt to put my heavier thoughts down, I hesitate, then stop. Is it childish to run away from the things that pain you, is it childish to not want to see them nor read of them? My fear is that if I ever write them down, they will become even more real and create even more of a piercing pain than they already have.

I can't bear to witness with my own eyes the words that will translate my vulnerability into reality.

Monday, July 17, 2006

meh!

Actually started a post on Saturday but then fell asleep before finishing it, finished it on Sunday but then fell asleep before posting it, so this morning I clicked post and voila! The whole thing just disappeared.

Filled with grief right now.

Sob sob.

Gist of missing post:

I passed my driving test on Friday! 12 points (average). The tester told me to portray a more mature image when driving and not one that's too cartoon-ish (huh?). Apparently I make a lot of faces when faced with obstacles. Hm.

Went clubbing on that same night with Jess, Syd, Vik, Melvin, JX, WD. Check Jess's blog for piccies! If she has uploaded any.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

lesson #015: where've all the funny guys gone?

Hokay. I have almost completed my SAAT stuff (notice how I use the word 'almost' most generously, purely to make myself feel better) and I have completed my set of driving lessons and am all geared up for my test this Friday. Hence I have more free time. Hence I am determined to make this post have a little more breadth than usual. None of those broken-sentences business - 'Ate Sakae. Was quite good. Burp smells like salmon' etc. After all am not an advertising agency.

So I've been watching quite a lot of SATC as Syd passed me DVDs for the whole six seasons that the show ran. And I realized how often Carrie hold the most interesting conversations with her men. Especially when she's with Mr Big (isn't he just the perfect guy? Charming, successful, with a great sense of humor... and a bit of a prick).

Why can't I have that? Where've all the funny guys gone? I really haven't had an intellectually stimulating conversation (that doesn't involve accounting subjects) for quite a while. In fact, when I start thinking about it, I don't think I've ever heard much of a witty repartee coming from a guy.

Maybe you're gonna dismiss me as a silly girl who hopes too much out of real life. SATC is fiction after all, and all the conversations in it, whether boring or funny, are essentially scripted. The script itself had prolly gone through loads of changes before it could make the actors sound as funny as they do on screen.

But still, I don't believe that ALL guys don't know how to crack a good joke - one that isn't cheesy or crass or both. Won't we all like to be entertained by a little witty flirtation once in a while? I choose to hope that one day guys will wake up their idea and start following Mr Big's lead.

Anyway. Had dance. Ate sushi with Cel and Jason before that. Mos fries and milk tea with Jess after. Gonna grow fat. Blah.

Friday, July 07, 2006

lesson #014: allow me to be vain...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

lesson #013: so this is what bliss feels like

For a short time, I felt it. I had no more deadlines to meet - the internship report was submitted and my work for SAAT was done. As I tried to mentally dig out things left to do, it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, there ain't anything else. And so that's how I found momentary peace.

A hot tip: don't check your e-mail when you're feeling blissful. Because when I opened mine, it turned out that I had MORE documents to check for SAAT. I was also reminded that since I now possess the necessary documents, there isn't anything preventing me from applying for my Schengen Visa. Except for insurance. Damn. Must - settle - insurance. See, one more thing to add to my to-do list.

So maybe that peaceful feeling was misguided. But I'm glad that I had a couple of 'unaware' hours, which I chose to spend watching SATC. Tomorrow, I'll have to start packing things for the upcoming dance camp (whole weekend burnt! Sigh) on top of everything else.

Anyway. Pictures!

Club Outing


Met up for a decent & proper dinner @ Sakae. This is Ms Vavavoom, attempting her best Ah-Lian pose + make-up. Check out the very smoky eyes!


The ah-lian's intimidating me.


I requested for a normal picture.


PS, who was shutter-happy with her N70 throughout the night, and the source of our food for thought's Dish of The Day @ Sakae.


Ms Ho came the latest despite the reservation being made under her name. The ah-lian's furious.


In threes.


And fours.


Soon after we moved on to Zouk. Zouk that night = free-flow of Smirnoff + loads and loads of soccer. Taken in the ladies' room.


Ms Ho's forever curling those lashes! We swear she takes a half hour each time!


Similar pic to above, except taken using PS's camera.


At Zouk proper.


And soon...


... we...


... were...


... drunk.


OK. Correction.


I was.


They were just being their normal, crazy selves.


Actually, none of us were drunk. And I was merely high. I just get red easily. Really!


From Ms Ho's camera.


Whee!


My darlings!


A loving kiss from Ms Ho to Ms Vavavoom.


Are we lookin' fierce yet?

Fen's 21st


Had to go to Fen's party straight after dance. Here's Jess and I after practice.


Arrived early and greeted the birthday girl. Fen looks really pretty! Love her newly-coloured hair!


Fen with Syd. Syd's just coloured her hair too. I couldn't stop staring at it. So shiny and maroon-ish! Lovely.


Syd's hair rocks!


With Anna.


Our Dinner Table's People + Fen.


Just Us Girls.


With Kunzieee! She borrowed her little sis's top especially for the party. It's so cute!


Wanted to take some more pics with the Red-Haired Girl.


An irresistible (err...) goodbye kiss. Ciao!

Monday, July 03, 2006

lesson #012: will i be missing out?

There are only two hot topics on the lips of SMU students these days. One of them is soccer, and the other is BOSS. I can still relate to soccer, having watched some of the most frustrating matches (Argentina - Germany, England - Portugal) to date, but I can't join 'em on BOSS. Because I'm going away on exchange.

Rather sad that I can't bid for courses together with my friends. Also stressed out thinking of the course-juggling I'll have to do once I get back, especially hate having to go through the Mod-Term hassle.

Left, right and centre I hear people talking about bidding for FIM together, or IE or Marketing. Courses that I want to take too, but as it is I'll be a term behind.

And behind this sadness of not being able to be part of the hubbub, there's the fear that once I get back, everyone would've found a rhythm of their own and I'd lose not just coursemates, but friends as well.

Guess I'm being silly. Just in case though, I plan to go on MSN as often as I could to bug my SMU pals. You ain't gettin' rid of me so easily! Won't even know that I'm gone!

On to other depressing stuff. England v Portugal: what was that? I guess I should realize that from quarter finals onwards we will no longer be witnessing six goals in a match. It's really sad though 'cos you know that England's defeat was inevitable. Without Owen, Beckham, and Rooney, they haven't got a chance in the penalty shoot-out. It's quite infuriating though 'cos was extremely tired that night but still stayed up to watch, managed to stay awake aaaaaaall the way through the eventless injury / extra times, only to fall asleep before the penalties started. Dayum.

Loads of pictorial updates coming up: outing with the ladies of the Bitch Club (was demoted from VP to Treasurer. BOO! Ms PS, please send over the piccies taken using your phone! And I better not see a particular picture on your Friendster!), then dance prac on Sat followed by Fen's polka-dotty 21st.