Thursday, April 27, 2006

i take back my words

I love working at PWC! The people are so smiley and friendly all of the time. I suppose I could declare such love because this week's been pretty easy on me. But really, if I ever do audit (which is actually quite interesting once I understood the reasons behind each seemingly silly procedure) I'd wanna work for PWC. It is, like, THE accounting firm to work for. Even the drink dispenser is nifty.

Two quick updates:
1. I am feeling as sick as a cow. Headache, nose perpetually on sneeze mode, funny throat, the whole job. Hopefully it won't turn into a full-blown flu because imagine being sick on a long weekend (hush you lucky ones who aren't working / interning / doing mod term / still having exams).
2. I FAILED my driving test. I couldn't believe it. It happened today. I was in a state of shock for a couple of seconds and almost cried in front of the Big Foot-ish tester. But I refrained, intending to cry once I get home (but then I forgot to). Anyway, it's kinda annoying because even my failure wasn't an outstanding / fantastic failure whereby I scored some immediate failures or whatnot. Basically I got hit by all the 2-point attacks. Which sucks. I did the perfect parallel / vertical parking yet failed because I didn't check the mirror when slowing down?? Argh!

Anyway, let's not make this post all about words, words, words (leave the wordplay to Jason Mraz).

Hence, random pictures:


'Seat 8: ellephunk ... won (3,455) with a flush, Ace high'. That's me, at the height of my poker craze, which was just before QM exam, I think.


That's G mocking my 'trademark' pose.


And the similarity with the above picture is alarming.


Stole this from Jess's blog. Me and Syd at Nines bash (for which there was poor response at best).


At the Rockstar workout. Thanks Fen for signing us up! But I wish they hadn't held it at a non-air-conditioned space. V. sticky at the end. V. v. UNrockstar.


Fen's abs are... WOW. I'm jealous.

MSN convos:


Click to enlarge or use magnifying glass to read






Skinny days, how I miss thee. (It's so obvious that we were wearing stockings! And urgh did the floor BURN or what. Never dance in stockings on a rough makeshift stage)

Sunday, April 23, 2006

predicting the future

No one can predict the future. Which is ironic because it's the biggest investment of your life and yet you can't predict the results. Your future is more risky than any other assets or instruments. But then again, there's such a thing as a calculated risk. This means cancelling out extremely unlikely results of the investment during the decision-making stage. Applying this to your future, there are some things you know you'll probably never do.

For example, you're probably not gonna end your life by chopping off your own head (there are two aspects to this: firstly I personally think suicide is overrated and secondly, it is logically impossible to chop off your own head because you'll be dead before you can finish the act). You're probably not gonna throw your year-end bonus out of your apartment window to grace the traffic below with paper-money rain. You're probably not gonna live in a tent in the wilderness with monkeys, a mode of living made fashionable by Tarzan (except he hasn't got much of a choice then has he).

Nowhere in here says that the situations above are 100% ridiculous and impossible. But the chances of them happening are say, equal to the chances that we'll fly to the moon at the same time, by coincidence, and then decide to have an impromptu picnic there.

So here comes the point of this philosophical mini essay. There are some things that I know I most probably won't be doing. I'll probably not settle down in a suburban area. Much as I enjoy the idyllic lifestyle of my cousin's laidback Sydney suburbs, the fact that his house is an hour's drive away from the nearest big mall suffocates me. Plus I can't imagine myself living in a place where every single shop closes at five, even the grocery and the drug store.

I know I won't want to settle down early and I know I won't want to be a housewife. Cannot imagine relying on someone else's income with no Plan B in sight. Your own income is always a good Plan B, just in case something bad happens like there is unhappiness and extra-marital affairs going on (I'm not saying the hubby'll be the one doing it either). I will want my own high-paying career, my own BMW (well maybe not BMW, the seats are so squeezy), my own savings and my own life.

And speaking of jobs, I know I will never be an auditor if I have a choice. I'm glad for this PWC internship because it's opened my eyes so much. There are just some things people don't say before you take the plunge into the job, because they're afraid of scaring you. Now I know audit is SO not for me.

Do you like chasing nasty people around to force them to give you documents necessary for you to do your work?
Do you like waking up early and going home late at past midnight to then sleep a couple of winks before you have to get up again?
Do you like sitting around waiting for said nasty people to finally give you the documents way too late and then rushing to meet your deadline by staying back even later past midnight?
Do you like spending $30 on cab rides everyday to Tuas / Jurong area to do your work? And also waiting for half an hour for the cab to find where your precise location is in Tuas?
Do you like to experience the aforementioned four for ten years, with longer and longer hours compounded before you get to reap the benefits as a partner?

If your answer to any of the above questions is a No, then auditing is not for you. No wonder the turnover in that line is so high!

So there. A complaint about my dislike for audit, disguised in a philosophical discussion about the future.

Monday, April 17, 2006

internships are scary

Y'know, I sometimes wish that after the interview, and after the joy of finding out that you've been accepted for a job, it'll all just stop right there. Because to be honest, I'm not so much looking forward to my first day at PWC tomorrow as feeling brain-feverishly freaked out by it.

These are but some of the questions lurking around in my mind:
- Will I look professional enough?
- Will I sound professional enough?
- Will they like me?
- Will I be able to smile and portray confidence when I'm totally petrified inside?
- Will I do my job well?
- Will I get along with the people at work?
- Will I be ON TIME??

Ever since primary school days, I've been petrified of first days. I've always been a shy kid, I won't be the one to ask strangers-who-will-soon-be-my-classmates that we play hopscotch together during break. I was the one to shuffle her feet and stand around feeling awkward about her height.

I suppose it's like a milder non-psyche-shattering type of trauma. I'll be a fully functional teenag- young adult (I keep forgetting) after a while, but first days... they're totally nerve-wracking.

Of course, I can't possibly let the fear just engulf me, swallow me whole, and leave me floating around like a goldfish tomorrow (they may notice if a pool of drool start forming).

Will have to build an outer shell of composure and quiet confidence, even if I'm trembling inside.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear...

It'll all be fine. It'll be. Shite. I so darn wish I'd bought some new clothes for work. They give you an artificial boost of confidence. And a happy glow from knowing that you're wearing new clothes.

And why must it start at 8.30? Why why why? Why can't they start at 12 noon, like half of SMU's lectures? Booh. I'm so scared of being late!

OK. Inner peace. Composure. Chant something.

Something something something...

Oh, this is ridiculous. I'll sleep this off and try not to think that the moment I wake up it'll be... Nah. Won't think about it.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

they had it comin'

Don't know how long it'll take to fix the keyboard so this may well be my last post for a very long time (read: coupla days). Bah. Somehow I kinda forgot the aspect of me being extremely reliant on my lappie when I thought about sending it to CIT or the IBM service center. Oh vell. Least I could do is bring it to see the doc tomorrow on the last day of exam (wheeee!) and see what the prescription says.

So instead of studying I was studiously following Channel 5's screening of Chicago. Incidentally I seem to have no problems finding alternative activities in place of studying, such as playing PS2 games, playing poker online (but with fake money, of course), reading chicklit or taking extremely long naps. Seems rather uncanny, that. But back to Chicago. It's the second time I watched it and well I love it even more now. Catherine Zeta-Jones is so beautiful. My favorite part is the Cell Block Tango, because nothing is sexier than a song and dance number by a bunch of dangerous women. THAT is real sexiness. They may be beautiful and they may be dancing for you in black garters and doing fantastic splits on the floor for your pleasure but you'll never know what they're thinking inside those heads of theirs.


True sexiness.

Mystery is power. Which is why I made a vow to myself that from now on I shall not blabber about any dirty little secret, and never all in one shot because it's the little doses that kill. But then this is all academic because as of the moment a donkey's life is more exciting than mine. Then again, soon we'll be heralding a new era called... drumrolls please... summer hols *cue Madonna's Holiday* and who knows what will happen then.

My short-term objective right now is just to get pissed drunk over a coupla shots and peach martini because I haven't had alcohol injected into my blood for... damn who knows how long. Whatever it is it's far too long. It's kinda like social smoking; when you've stopped for a while you just wish you could have another drag. Right Mr Camel?

Sunday, April 09, 2006

dad part II

So dad flew home on Friday night and brought me goodies. The complete first season of Desperate Housewives as well as... wait for it... *hyperventilates*... SH3!!! AAAAHHHH!!!

Ok. Slowly breathe.

Ok, so those two things really make me wish that exams would end even sooner and my internship wouldn't start 'til later. I just want to stay at home and be a couch potato, alternately drooling over Jesse Metcalfe or else glueing my hands onto the PS2 controller.

I'm such a kid aren't I? Haha.

Fen helped us sign up for this Nike Rock Star thingummy going on next Thursday. Basically we're gonna go there and dance and if we're good enough we'll win Nike vouchers! Yayay. I don't mind making a complete arse of myself for Nike vouchers. The current Nike Women collection's pretty nifty.

Had some dad-forced spring cleaning of my old study table just now. Unearthed plenty of things from the drawers, including an unsent fan letter to Leonardo DiCaprio (Leo who??) written waaaay back in bad English, and my secondary school art file full of drawings of masks, 'artsy' pencil-shading of croissants, as well as Vincent Van Gogh's sunflower imitations.

Yeah... they kinda remind me of why they were buried in the first place.

Since this entry is very random (blogging 'cos I'm at a loss of what to do - I've had quite enough of practicing tax questions, yet feeling too guilty to play PS2) I shall up the random factor by a bit.

Can't remember if I wrote down in words my lamentation of a fringe cut too short, but well I'm quite satisfied with it now as it has grown a bit and verging on looking normal.


Hello normality.

Pardon the faux-cute facial expression. Can't find other pics that exhibit the fringe length better.

Finished Fixed Income's take home paper yesterday. Aided by G, went to the optics shop at school to make new specs. This is how it went. We were walking towards SoB (oh, pardon, I meant LKCSB) from the POSB ATM when I caught a glimpse of the optics shop. So I said, "Oooh specs! Can we go inside? I wanna make new specs. Help me choose a frame!"

Hence the need for new specs was created within seconds, and we came out roughly 45 minutes later with a deeper hole dug into my pocket. But I'm quite excited about the new specs.

Ho-hum. Shall watch Desp Housewives now. Or else study?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

happy birthday daddy!

It's my dad's birthday today. Since he's overseas at work I foresee a belated celebration this weekend. Hmmm must plan my studying so as to have some slack time then for a nice family dinner.

Let me tell you something about my dad.

My dad is the kind of person who, when you send an SMS to him saying 'Happy Birthday!', replies it with an 'ok.' He's the kind of person who says he's changing jobs but doesn't mention that the new job is as a CIO of a pharmaceutical company. He's the kind of person who scolds you for coming home late one night but buys you a PS2 the next day when you ask him to. He's the kind of person who on his own birthday asks you where YOU'd want to go to have a nice dinner.

But most importantly, he's the kind of person who when asked to get milk from the supermarket, comes home with milk, chips, beer, instant noodle and chocolate bars. I inherit my shopaholic genes from him.

Don't know when I'll find time to get him a nice present. Thinking of buying him a nice golf tee or something, for those casual meals out or at home. He might occasionally wear Armani, but it's still Armani from twenty years back. To make it worse, the rest of the time he just wears freebie polos much like the ones we get from school events (Convo, Arts Fest, Patron's Day, etc). Next Convo I should just ask for an XL-sized tee and give it to him!

Monday, April 03, 2006

to shop (v. , 'shupp'): to part with cash / swipe credit cards to gain ownership of pretty, pretty things

Was propping myself up against the wall, sitting cross-legged on the bed and getting ready to type a post when I saw the slightly misplaced letter Z on the keyboard. So I got reminded of the Z situation (I've sorta gotten used to typing 'z' gently and the feeling of the letter dislodging under my finger). When am I gonna find the time to bring it for service / repair / replacement? Wonder if CIT's gonna be open after exam week. I might just let their in-house engineer take a look before resorting to the IBM service center. Baaah. Just the thought of being apart from my lappie brought tears to my eyes (err well not really but you get the drift). I'm such a junkie!

Another thing I'm addicted to is Wild Arms 4. Seriously kinda wished I hadn't started playing it. Then again, I don't really regret starting 'cos it is so much fun! I never wanna walk out of my house ever again. It's too much fun staying inside accompanied by my PS2. Haha.

On the study front, think I've sort of settled revision for QM. Now what's left to do is Tax and TWC. Have got a Fixed Income take-home paper too but, well, honestly. I'm so lost on Fixed Income I wouldn't even know if I had the text or notes the right side up.

And now for the finale.

I went on a s-h-o-p-p-i-n-g t-r-i-p. Well, two trips actually.

After dinner with the usual XLB suspects on Saturday, Z and I went to speed-shop while Yang still managed to look somewhat bored despite the fact that we were, well, speeding our shopping! It's a shame indeed that men are losing out on the joy of shopping. They'll never know. In the end we felt bad so we sent our boy home while we proceeded to F21.

Picked up a gold necklace which Z liked and I didn't so she bought it, and I bought another necklace, also gold with champagne beads ($18), plus a pair of gold earrings ($11). Before that I picked up a moss green spaghetti ($13) when we speed-shopped at Mango.

The next day, went to Zara after church and tried on some stuff for fun. Ended up liking them so much that I reserved them (went back to get 'em today). Had to reserve them first as my mum's around (went to church with my family) and I CANNOT let her see me buying stuff from Zara. No no no no no. Don't know what she'll do to me if she sees me with a Zara carrier. She'll send me to a nunnery or something, maybe.

Things begotten from Zara:
White capris with salmon stripes ($59)
Black hoodie jacket, cropped and sort of pouffed up ($49)
White TRF Angel tank, gold imprint ($19)

Dare not total that up.

Argh! What's wrong with me? Why can't I just NOT shop?? (Hmmm... actually I know why. 'Cos it'll be against nature. And we all know we cannot defy nature.) Burnt a hole in my pocket deep enough to stuff my wardrobe in. Dammit. Only thing left to do now is to wait piteously for my TA pay. And to invest in baked beans as cannot afford to eat anything else.

PS: Almost forgot! Had TWC make-up class today and as a goodbye present, Prof Sujit gave us all chocolates. Not some measly one-piece-of-Ferrero affair either, he bought each of us a huge BAR of hazelnutty chocolate goodness. Yum. He's such a nice prof!! And that reminds me. Shall proceed to eat the choc now.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

i am a man trapped in a girl's body, apparently

Thought it's about time I do an update on this blog. Well, a lot of things have happened since the last time I wrote here. Mainly... *long pause* hmmm. Funny. Can't think of anything.

Oooh! Yes. I went to watch a total of 3 movies this week: Failure to Launch (damn title should stop at Failure), V for Vendetta (oh loVe loVe loVe! How I loVe thee, V), and Ultraviolet (do NOT watch at all cost unless you are a total Milla fan, which I am. Like, really, please donate that $8.50 to a worthwhile charity, or buy a homeless kid a meal, or top it up by $2.50 and get yourself a nice pair of earrings from F21!).

My point is, 3 movies in 1 week may be a wee bit of an overdose especially since this is Week 13 (that translates to 'hell week' in SMU-speak). But surprisingly, I feel fine. I am tough like a mountain like that, yo. Or simply lazy and unmotivated. Meh, I prefer tough.

Anyway, about the title. I was thinking of how I shouldn't have started playing Wild Arms 4 yesterday because now I'm totally hooked on the fun battle system. I actually look forward to random battles! And then I got thinking of how I never did complete most of my games. Didn't even complete Chrono Trigger for goodness' sake (stopped when I got the Time Egg thingummy). And from there I thought of how strange it is that I only ever discuss games with boys, one of them Yang. And then I got reminded of something he said some time back about how I am a guy trapped in a girl's body. Which I choose to take as a compliment (albeit a rather strange one), and not as a 'you-are-a-goddamn-transvestitish-freak' kind of insult. (Anyway the transvestitish freak is Mike, Jing's boyfriend). (HAHA HE IS SO GONNA HATE ME NOW!).

Henceforth, I presenth forthwith (wtf?) the number of wayth that I am but like a man, or something:
1. I play console games
2. I use f***ing as an adjective in my sentences generously, a somewhat uncouth practice which boys would not like their dream girls to do
3. I am heartless
4. I am a commitophobe
5. I am insensitive and blunt, if you suck then I will say 'you suck' and not 'there is room for improvement'
6. I appreciate artful photography of beautiful girls, except my definition of 'artful' (= classy, unique, artistic in some way or another) will differ from most guys' definition of 'artful' (= erotic/slutty/with boob peek-a-boo)
7. I think with my head more than with my heart
8. I suppress emotions and act tough
9. I walk around as if I am the supreme ruler of the universe, like boys do. The difference is that they are mistaken and I am right
10. I am big-headed and self-centered

So what does this mean?

All the guys who've been attracted to me have homosexual tendencies. Yeeee-haww! Let's hit Brokeback Mount'n boys!