Thursday, June 21, 2007
the expected burnoutYup... I burned out... Had to take MC today because overnight I morphed into the Cold Monster - with spinning head, phlegm shots and red nose glory.
I know I should be cursing work and stuff but I'd like to let you in on a little secret. So come here, come closer. Need to whisper it in your ear...
I love my job.
Wouldn't trade it for any other in the world. I realise this is a special internship. One where they do not equalise the word 'intern' with 'data entry, brainless work, photocopying / coffee-making extraordinaire'. They treat an 'intern' as a 'potential employee' - someone who breathes, lives, thinks, and hopefully doesn't make too many mistakes.
They want to hear my view, they want to see my research. And that's all thanks to my boss, who treats me with respect from the get-go and pushes me to do better.
I should be lounging around and sleeping off this MC day, but I've just spent a couple of hours tidying up my work because I know it matters. And it will be used as a jump-off point, just like the previous presentation.
This cold is annoying. I hope tomorrow I'll be much better. I NEED to go to work. I need to perform. I need to show them that I CAN.
mon has bin bad at 4:55:00 PM
Saturday, June 16, 2007
drowning. blurrb blurrblub.I cannot believe it.
I cannot believe I'm giving a presentation within 4 days of starting the internship.
I cannot believe my boss commented so thoroughly on the prepared slides that I'd have to make some changes.
MAJOR changes.
During the weekend.
Which means more research.
Revamped formatting.
And memorising every single fact so that they can question me on any point and I can answer.
On my supposed down time.
I am going to puke.
I cannot believe this internship gives me more stress than school projects.
I cannot believe I have to WORK THROUGH THE WEEKEND.
I'm afraid my boss thinks I'm super woman and I cannot reveal to him that I'm actually a fake.
And at the end of the day, when I am so stressed and blue, there's no one to hold my hand because I bloody chose not to. Grrrrreeeaaat. The irony is, I can't let anyone in now when I'm so vulnerable, because I can't let them see me as a charity case.
I want you to hold my hand so bad, but I can't - this is the path I chose. It's a lonely road but it's where I have to go, just because.
mon has bin bad at 9:45:00 PM
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
examoverplayslackgooutdancestartworkBAH...
Exams over but somehow I still find myself busy. OK so the past few days been busy playing; watched movies, went for dinner, played games and attended some poker rounds. But then in between there was also dance. And I'm starting to feel the weight of the rehearsals. 4 out of 7 days is getting a bit too much especially with my intern starting on Wed. But who am I to complain? I really did ask for it when I didn't pull out of some of the items. Budden at that time who woulda known that I'd actually find an intern?
It's fine. Gruelling exercise + gruelling work = skinny me. Or maybe = binge-eating me. Hopefully it's the first equation.
Anyhohoho, I consider myself rather lucky to have a boss who plays Hold'em. As long as he doesn't rope me in to play his high-stakes games I should be financially fine. Heh.
Don't know what else to write. My life pretty boring now. My plan to gamble, drink and misbehave may not work out in the end if I'm too tired to move by the weekend! Maybe I should close blog like Syd did... There's simply nothing sensational or melodramatic going on! Bleah. But at least I'm not as unlucky as the ang moh fella in the vid...
