Saturday, March 18, 2006

feelin' gloomy and have no idea why i'm photo-blogging

Today has sucked from the get-go. Mood was not very good to start with as I've only got about 3.5 hours of sleep. Attended SAAT orientation and that was all right (free Delifrance mini cakes, of course it was all right). But then things got bad during TWC project meeting. Was really stressed about the amount of work that we'd done (read: close to zilch). And the fact that I haven't got anywhere to go after the meeting. And that I didn't have lunch at all and was suffering hunger pangs at 3.30 pm. And that I didn't have anyone to lunch with (Yang offered as long as it was before two pm. S had to leave at two so we were trying to rush the project so I couldn't make it for lunch with him, and then when she left I stayed back for another hour to tidy up the report because I was too wrought-up to leave it in the bloody mess that it was). Was grumpy that I was going straight home but it was the best option there was.

Overslept in the bus because was too tired and when I woke up I've missed my house by two stops. So never mind... Walked the 800m (?) back in a grump carrying heavy bag + laptop + QM textbook and pissed-offness was augmented whenever truckdrivers / cyclers whistled and honked at me. I know you're supposed to take it as a compliment but really, I could've done without the noise and the feeling of being harrassed.

Dropped by KAP to pick up my favourite instant noodles, which I straightaway cooked once I reached home.

And now I've just remembered the two things I still need to get done by tonight which is to do my part of the slides for Monday's TWC presentation and do my QM homework and I just can't be arsed because it is friggin' 9.40 pm and I know I'm gonna have to stay up 'til late to do them and now my eyes are already closing, I am just so tired. I need sleep. And I need love. I feel totally alone today.

Feeling of frustration was augmented when I saw the spineless dust beneath the carpet online on MSN. Ugh. And when I saw that Mr Camel was NOT online. Double ugh and a sigh.

He waited all afternoon for me to be ready
But when I was finally ready he was not there
And it made me wonder
Whether he was really there in the first place

I know that this moment of loneliness comes to everyone once in a while, and that it will pass (as some patronizing fella once told me), but just for now I can do nothing but sink into a funk over it. It's not that I want to feel this way, it's just that circumstances don't let me feel otherwise.

This isn't how it was supposed to feel like. Would you catch me if I fall? Could you?

Buggerations. Please don't ask me if I'm okay. I wouldn't be able to give an answer in the affirmative.