Thursday, January 05, 2006

lesson #249: something shifted in my chi

2006 has so far proven to be THE year to act meticulous. There are so many things to take care of and they can be a lot of work when combined: exchange, driving, internship, holiday trips, summer courses. Probably I'm subconsciously trying to make up for the fact that I slacked pretty much the whole of last term. I did my assignments at the last minute and though I stressed over projects, it was due to a lot of procrastination on my part.

Well, this term is gonna be different. This term my project mates will be very happy indeed. So far I've written on my new purple diary all the events that I've got in January. All the deadlines are recorded and all necessary reminders written down. I have kept track of the textbook receipts so that I can claim my refund from the parental units (as they've stopped giving me allowance, I can't afford buying texts on my own). All the people who owed me money and whose money I owed are jotted down (Yang - you're top on my list! I will pay you back for the bash tickets once I've collected some money from the girls, which will be very very soon!). Wrapping of books are done right off the bat. I have read my readings and done my demo for the QM assignment.

Prolly the thing that required the most discipline was finally hitting the gym again after months' worth of pause. Ran 3 clicks yesterday (but at a very slow pace). I found it better to concentrate on working out when listening to music, so I foresee my iPod getting sticky with sweat in the hopefully near future.

Anyway, came across something in Anna's blog. She warned girls not to give up a foreign exchange opportunity just to be with their bfs. And it's funny because I bumped into Candace and she said the exact same thing. And what's funnier was because I had considered giving up exchange to be with G, who probably won't go on exchange next sem and maybe never.

I still think going on exchange with your boyfriend will be very very sweet. If given the opportunity, at least 50% of girls will go for it. But it'll only remain sweet if being put in an foreign environment doesn't tear you apart, or if petty quarrels escalating into mini volcano explosions don't ruin the experience. Exchange is such a rarity that it'll be a pity for it to be peppered with dramatic, moody moments instigated by lovers' tiffs. So it's risky like that, but the payoff may be huge. So it depends on your risk apetite in the end, I suppose.

But giving up on exchange is another matter. I'd go with the girls and say no. I love G now and he's my boyfriend but boyfriends don't last forever, unlike creepy California Fitness people. Boyfriends will metamorphosise into either ex-boyfriends or husbands. So. I don't want to have us break up and then have myself regretting not taking up exchange just because of a compulsive decision I made out of 'love'. Don't think I'm being pessimistic about our future. Just being rational, because the future is totally random and we'll never know what's in store for us.

Having said that, I still don't know if I'll go with Zhi and Yang next term, or a year later. If I go a year later, I'll aim for the States. I won't mind doing it alone. It all depends on whether I can score an internship now and thus forego the dreaded January internship, and whether I can manage my courses well enough.

Gosh. I'm talking about exchange on my blog. Driven and meticulous - I'm growing up! Next thing you know I'll be wearing cashmere sweaters and drinking tea with biscuits and knitting socks.