Thursday, December 01, 2005

lesson #245: just... lend me a screwdriver and I'll do the rest myself!

Am officially royally screwed. Couldn't even do the easiest question in the Corp paper. Like, fuck. The most annoying thing is I knew which concepts to apply but I didn't know how to apply them - didn't know which figures to use, couldn't remember the fucking formulas... ARGH! I blame this on the continuous fucking migraine I've been having since last Monday. Couldn't you give me a break, dear Mr whoever it is who's in charge of assigning headaches to people?? ARGH! I can't even achieve a single moment of freaking Zen with this recurring headache. It's literally been going on for what, ten days? The only time I DON'T feel it is when I'm sleeping, and God knows, maybe when I'm sleeping I'm still having that bloody headache, just that you kinda don't feel it when you're not conscious.

My concentration weaved in and out as the headache ebbed here and there. I even felt light-headed and giddy and nauseous, fuckinell! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! I hate my stupid headache! Because of it I'll flunk all the bloody papers and I'll lose my freaking scholarship just when I need the money most!!! I doubt I can scrape even a B- with this shit!

FARK! It hurts whenever I try to think! Argh! Maybe I've got some rare disease and I'll just die within a few days. I'll be so freaking pissed in afterlife. Freaaak! I DO NOT have time to see a freaking doctor so please, just stop it with the bloody headache! Freaking pissed, even more so because there's no one to blame but my own stupid head. Feel so slow, dumb, and retarded. Feel like banging my head against the wall - anything to get this shit to go away!

ARGH! I AM ANGRY!