Monday, December 12, 2005

lesson #242: the earthquake that hits my relationship and cracks it

The past few days haven't been great, relationship-wise. We had a couple of ups and plenty of downs. The main source of the problem is the fact that I dislike spending low-quality time with him for just 1.5 - 2 hours, after which he sends me off and he himself go gallivanting with his friends. Two birthday parties, a coupla reunions, and two Christmas dinners make a very grumpy me. Doesn't help that all the events happen at night, MY free time (afternoons are spent driving). As a result, the compromise is such that I go home sweaty from the hot sun after driving, meet him for the above-stated duration, and then go home AGAIN, feeling unfulfilled. Can ya blame me for being frustrated?

At this rate, breaking up is not an impossibility. My principle is such - if you can't even make time for your girlfriend in the holidays, how are you going to do it during your busy school term?

I blame myself for this. I shouldn't have made him feel so relaxed. When boys are relaxed, they take you for granted. Jealousy (on his side) fuels a relationship on. I have found this to be true from past experience. Jealousy made him alert, it made him cherish you more. Heck, jealousy made him chase after you! And that's why I said I blame myself. I have stopped given him reason to feel jealous.

At the start of our relationship, I was still in close contact with my ex. Slowly but surely I let my ex go, and slowly but surely my dear boyfriend starts breathing easily, he starts leaning back on the proverbial massage chair.

Maybe I shouldn't have lied to him when N called to wish me a happy birthday. I told him (G) that it was someone else so that he won't start fidgeting. Maybe I shouldn't have lied either when this other old suitor called me up to go to a house party and G overheard the male voice. Maybe those calls would've kept him on his toes.

When your boyfriend starts spending more time with his friends, beware. He may find his friends' company more enjoyable than yours, and start drifting away. If he can find joy somewhere else more fun, why would he need you?

Because he loves you? Pffft.

Trust me. At this age, love is an expendable thing for them. No matter how sincere they seem at first, their attention span will always, always be shorter than yours. They fall in love with you with ease, while you hold back a little at first and then gain momentum later. But they fall out of love just as easily, while you may be carried off because of that momentum, and then you're going too fast to stop loving.

Ladies, the best self-defense is NOT kickboxing. It is being careful in not loving your boy too much. If you're feeling the Single Girl itch, by all means request for a temporary break. Don't hold it back like a constipated poo. And if you feel him drifting away, surround yourself with great friends and great company.

This is something that I'm trying to remember myself: friends are for keeps while boyfriends have expiry dates.

PS: By the way, I couldn't get rid of that stalker-ish instructor because the centre won't let me to. I have to be under a Fixed Group in order to make such 'special requests'. But thus far I have not met him again in the circuit so pray that the Fortune Goddess takes pity on me and keep me safe for the duration. And I'm enjoying driving more and more. It's a thrill to hear the engine roar (albeit only at 70 km/h).