Tuesday, December 20, 2005

lesson #184: "whatever happened between us?"

Isn't it sad that two people who once had a special connection with each other can, a few years later, not even be on speaking terms? Not out of spite or angst, mind you. It is simply the gradual process of losing touch that I'm talking about.

Think of say, your ex. Wasn't it great, what you had? Wasn't it great while it lasted? Didn't you feel like you could spend the rest of your life with each other just snuggling close and gazing deep into each other's eyes. What happened there? Why are you not even friends anymore? Oh sure, for a while after the breakup there will still be some contact being made. But slowly but surely, the calls and messages dwindled. Efforts to meet up lessened. And suddenly, you find your ex disappearing from your life forever. That ex who had painted your life in rainbows for a span of one or two or even more years is now gone.

And how about your ex-best friend? The one you used to spend two hours chatting on the phone with. Remember the unstoppable bursts of laughter inititated by God-knows-what? Remember when you used to think that you've found your soul mate and how you feel so safe knowing you have one true friend? Where is that best friend now? You went your separate ways, go into different schools, best friend may have gone overseas. For a while after the distance was created, you were still chummy, weren't you. You still met up during Christmas holidays and exchange long-awaited birthday presents, which then also acted as Christmas presents. You had a great time during the catch-up session, but did you feel a bit like you've got nothing much to say? That so many things have happened since you two last caught up that you didn't know where to start, and then there were too many (trivial?) things left unsaid? And then this year, you thought about that ex-best friend and asked to meet up. Somehow, the meeting didn't materialize. Clash of schedules. You're both busy people. Too busy to make time for an old friend?

How about your long-lost neighbour? The one you used to exchange comic books with. You used to play fight together. You destroyed his ninja turtle! Where's he now? What's he doing? Where has that innocence in fun gone to?

How about your old clique at school? The one whose members are now MIA, scattered about. Some stayed, some went to other places. Everybody forgot everybody else.

How about your parents? You used to wait up for them to come home from work. You couldn't wait to play with them! But they were too tired. You kept your hopes up for a while, and then you gave up. You stopped waiting up for them. Ten years later, they're now waiting up for you to come home in the middle of the night.

Time makes fools of all of us. It's so sneaky in making us forget. In the midst of the everyday hustle and bustle, we don't even realize what we've lost.