Sunday, October 23, 2005

lesson #260: my cup has never been this full

That's not referring to any sort of breast measurement. I'm still a B (yeah, yeah, B for Barely There, ha-ha-ha). Rather it's referring to the metaphorical cup of life. Excuse me if I sound too zen or embrace-the-inner-balance-ish, you just can't help sounding like that after embracing the inner balance of Corp, Audit, and ComLaw all at one go.

Don't even know why I'm blogging instead of doing any of the following (burgeoning to-do list for today):
1. Make notes for tomorrow's Corp Quiz
2. Do Audit Assignment
3. Write ComLaw report
4. Collate ComLaw report

And I've just checked my e-mail and some girl is going to see me for MA consultation tomorrow, which means I can't do last-minute revision for Corp! I just won't do well without my last-minute revision. It's the psychological aspect attached to it. Last-minute revision has become a habit. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

It's times like these when I wish for a provider of comfort - a man to call my own who will envelop me in his everlasting hug and tell me that in the end, everything is gonna be okay. Because he'll be here, and I'll be here, and as long as we stay together nothing can make us not okay.

Whoops. I already have one of those, I think. Then why am I still longing for one? Is it because the present one isn't very effective? Hmmmm. I guess I'm just an insatiable, greedy little bitch.

You play your mind games
And I play along
Because I want to cheer your disheartened heart
And speak your language

But I've realised recently, only recently
That you don't care about me in my own special way.

You don't do unto me what I do for you
And you blame me for not keeping up
When I'm exhausted of your politics
And your desert dry of love

Part of a poem Jun wrote in her blog. It feels appropriate. Often times we all go through different kinds of shit, but what we usually don't realise is that the feelings we feel are the same. And if we've only realised that, maybe none of us will feel so alone. Situations may be hard to understand, but feelings are simple and repetitive - they echo throughout the world in the heart of every broken little girl.