Thursday, September 29, 2005

lesson #238: am i just my boyfriend's girlfriend

Feel like I'm being swallowed into his circle. Spent more time with his friends than my friends for the last few weeks due to working arrangements. The people we lunch with are his group mates. The people we dine with are of Asoc blood. I feel overshadowed by him and his whole 'gang'.

I lost track of when I last laughed out loud genuinely, when I last had a scandalous confidential gossip with my babes, when I last walked out of school during break to shop or eat at Raffles City.

And I'm freaking pissed at myself for being so busy. For having to distance myself because I haven't the time to socialise. When the hell did I last go for a frivolous night out?

And I really don't know who're my real friends in school anymore. Some friends have become acquaintances and I don't know how to react to that.

And my birthday is a week from now but I can't get excited about it. G said, "If you're expecting an iPod Nano from me, then sorry I won't get it." Like I had given him a mandate to get me an iPod Nano? Somehow it irritates me when people perceive me as more material-girl than I'd like to be seen as.

I don't care what present you give me as long as you remember.

And my friends and I are supposed to celebrate it at Momo next Friday but I don't know who to call out because as mentioned above I don't know who my friends are anymore (except for... you all know who you are). I don't want to invite people who then will say, "Sorry, I don't think I will come / No mood / Eh, let's see how busy I am."

The alphabetical contrast:

A - can you don't promise stuff when there's a great possibility that you can't fulfill them.
B - I don't need someone who looks right through me.
C - Don't fake being nice because that's worse than being outright bitchy. You make me puke.

VVVV - I miss you you biiiitch!
Y(ang) - you make me laugh in Comp Law class!
Z(hi) - what would I do without your Kopi Tiam hugs.

G - is cutting his hair at Shunji Matsuo now. I kinda forced him to upgrade. He normally cuts at Far East for $12 a pop. I love my men coiffed! Oops did I say men? I mean man. Singular. Lalala...

I - need a break.