Thursday, August 25, 2005

lesson #215: as soapy as the OC

I don't want him to get it. If he gets it, he'll be extremely busy and I'll be left with nothing. I'll be all alone, worse than when I started out. He'll be busy and I'll always be waiting, in the dark, and it makes it even worse that I'm not in the dance exco, I'll feel even more of a sad case that he's got so much to do and I... nothing. And like I said, I'll just be waiting. Waiting for God knows what.


Is this time? Is this finally spiralling to an end? I feel like an evil villain wishing bad luck to him, when even my friends are supporting him. I don't want to feel all this negativity. Why must it turn out like this. A series of events, making up the funnel of a whirlpool which, in the end, will swallow me into the darkness.


I'm really really afraid of the future. I realise that most of my posts now are coloured with bleakness and that saddens me.