Monday, August 01, 2005

lesson #212: spare me a moment to be maudlin

Attended Asoc Mock Camp last Saturday. Not much can be said about an event that ended early after a freak rainstorm literally blew the socks off everybody. In the middle of the camp, got a call from our dance pres who asked me to sub the seniors to do the SMUve item. It was pretty last minute because SMUve was on the next day at 7 am, and reporting time was 5.30 am. But in the end, I don't regret doing it. The costume was lots of fun, despite aching feet caused by extremely high-heeled boots and ringing ears from the elaborate, feathery headdress. I was wearing yellow and though the costume was a tad on the short side (left buttcheek was exposed) I think it looked really nice!


Straight after SMUve was Vivace, or CCA day in layman's terms. Manned the booth for a while but sadly enough, spoke to more girls than cute guys. Left shortly after watching the seniors perform because I had a magazine article to write. However at the last minute, decided to play truant and made plans for blading.


Blading plans were then cancelled and changed into a more relaxing time in town. Shopped a bit (but bought necessities, so didn't really count as shopping). Found cheap mod earrings at $4.90! They're square and with black and white stripes.


When I got home, I was pretty tired but I still have that article to write, and the deadline was just hours away. Ended up missing the deadline because I was so tired I fell asleep in front of the lappie. The article was halfway done then. Finally finished the first draft this afternoon and sent it to my editor. Hope it's not too crappy-frappy. Now on my list of things to do are 1) shopping expedition to Triumph hopefully with Syd and Jess, because I (sadly) need push-up bras 2) asking around for people to blade with! So far I've got Syd, Mich and Jun. Ms VVVV - shall we go together again, with 2LTM this time? I would very much like to see him, err, blade.


But this isn't why I'm writing. Have been having relationship problems with Gary with the result of me asking for a break. We've sort of patched up but I still have a lingering question in my mind.


How can you tell if an issue is an indication that two people are incompatible, or if they just need to put in more effort to work things out? I mean, certain issues such as a difference in religious values can be crippling for some couples. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. So how would you know whether the issue will be one to kill you, or one that'll make the relationship stronger?


I can't stand certain aspects of Gary's life. Couldn't stand them to the point of my self being filled with pure loathing whenever I see him do that thing that I can't stand. Recently we've been fighting everyday. I know that this is a sign that Things Are Not Good. Sometimes I wish relationships are simple. But I suppose simplicity will just kill the excitement out of them.


The feelings are too strong. Sometimes I wonder, what could have been. Do you really feel it the way I do. Will anything even come out of this. Don't wanna waste my time on you, but couldn't bring myself to let go either. So please. Let me know.