Sunday, May 15, 2005

lesson #169: i would crawl into a hole except i'm claustrophobic

Do heartaches love company? I feel like a thousand shards of glass are piercing through my chest, plink-plunking around. No, nothing's wrong. Nothing bad happened between G and I. So what happened that made me feel this way? What made me feel this ache, this dull pain that is just unexplainable.


It's partly fear, I suppose.


Envy that someone else is so happy. I didn't feel so bad before but upon hearing how happiness has shone through for another person... I can't help asking, "Why not me?"


Anxiety. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.


Dissatisfaction. I don't want this. I don't want my days gone just like that.


It's funny how one can be surrounded by a crowd and yet still feel lonely.