Wednesday, March 02, 2005

lesson #79: a message to lovers out there

Why do people break up so easily? Of recent days, I've been surrounded by songs* and gossips all centered round the inevitable goodbye. Have just read an article on a backdated Lifestyle issue, about Andy Lau's past affair with this Taiwanese chick. Apparently they were really lovey-dovey, but circumstances (his fame, specifically) tore them apart. Why do we let circumstances tear us apart?


It's so easy just to give up. It's so easy to feel 'this isn't right', so easy to mark a relationship as 'one bound not to last'. But now I'm looking back at the steps that I've taken, things I've done that's really starting to look like the lazy way out. Only 'cos I haven't bothered stepping away from my comfort zone. As a couple facing problems, must the solution always be separation? Can't each party both try harder to make things work? And try and try and try again, until you've exhausted yourselves and finally, finally realised that that's really all there is to it. Like, does it really seem reasonable to break up on the grounds of differing religions? It's not like the relationship is forever. So why not give it a good shot as long as it'll last?


Initially the thought of 'exhausting yourself' in each and every relationship seems daunting. Is your heart really that tough to afford to expend so many emotions on every single relationship. Must you always run a full-course marathon with every single guy who picked you up at a party? I suppose that's really hard to justify. But at least then you can say that you've given it your all. That you've tried your best. I'm not proposing that people treat every relationship like it's gonna lead them to the altar, but at least look at its maximum potential. Just give it a chance to run its full-course, which may be a month or 10 years.


I'm really sorry to those whom I've caused disappointment. Special mention to N. The reason I gave for ending things was really crap. And it could have worked if I were only to move my butt. There really was no good reason for why things happened they way they did.


But despite the strange turns of events which led me to G, I'm contented with being where I am. (If things went bad in the future and I were to read this entry then, I may regret saying this but it's how I feel now). The touch of his hand is, at times, all that I need to feel secure, loved, and protected.


*Almost Here, by Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem. "You have been my life, and I never planned growing old without you / but when I need you you're almost here and I know that's not enough." Depressive or what.