Tuesday, January 18, 2005

lesson #81: on the way down

Sick and tired of this world
There's no more air
Tripping over myself, going nowhere
Waiting, suffocating, no direction
I took a dive and


On the way down
I saw you, and you saved me from myself
And I won't forget the way you loved me
And on the way down I almost fell right through
But I held on to you


-- On The Way Down (Ryan Cabrera)


Bah. Two schooldays and already I felt like a mental wastebasket. Had two dances today - tari kipas representing SMUKI and then there's That One That's With Emix. We're repeating our Artsfest item (the one which practices I was complaining about last August). Woo-hoo. You can see how excited I am about this.


Anyway, the practice with Emix today SUCKED. 'Cos there's this one 'cluster' part where I had to stand in front and APPARENTLY BLOCKED EVERYBODY. And then the seniors said, "Huh. She's so tall, and she's in front? So funny." Well, HA-HA. Do you see me laughing? Do you?? Then when we're marking the positions, one of the seniors had to fill in the gap behind me 'cos we had some absentees today. Then she was like, whispering. "Wah... she's really tall man." Dear, I have three nice letters for you - W, T, and F. I'm sorry for sounding like a bitch but, like, hello? Just how insecure do you want me to be? So what if I'm the bloody tallest among all the dancers? That doesn't make me a big friggin' clumsy giant. In fact, fuck it. I dance well and I know it. I bloody well deserve to be bloody in front.


All angst aside, after dance was over (at 10 friggin' 30) I went to meet G, who was still hanging around in school. He didn't have to stay back 'til so late, so I really appreciate the fact that he waited. And speaking of guys, I was having dinner with G and Nicole when the topic of him smoking came up. He's more or less stopped smoking now, but last year whenever we went clubbing, he'd smoke. And remembering that, I suddenly realised that I really do like my guys bad. I love seeing a pretty boy smoke! It gives them that edge. So sexy. I love a 'been there done that' kind of guy. But of course, it's not so nice when a guy smokes too much and can't stop. So N, please cut down on those ciggy-wiggies, all right? Else you'll end up old before your time with a stinky breath.


Anyway, thanks to my babe Zhi for keeping me sane today. And thanks to Celine for being insane with me while we waited for dance to start. Take care of yourself, girl! Don't let dance ruin your health. Last but not least, thanks to G for the Puma-shoe-on-library-table episode. So hilarious. Although the shoe did land on my Biz Law text afterwards, which is something to be frowned upon. You'd better lick it clean and good.