Thursday, November 25, 2004

lesson #132: i'll hug myself and stare at the ceiling

Oh vee ee arr. Over, my exams are. Somehow, instead of jumping up and down with glee, I'm feelin'... nothing much. I'm not sure if the endorphins (or whatever hormones are associated with happiness) are taking their time to kick in or something, but I just feel empty.


The days stretching ahead are blanks yet to be filled. I have no idea what I'm gonna do for the next month. Boredom is already setting in. And a little bit of sadness, don't know where THAT came from.


I find that whatever choice I make, it will never satisfy me for long. There will never be a perfect arrangement... To get something good I'm gonna have to give up something else. It's tearing me up inside, this limbo. Only one person knows exactly what I'm going through. I appreciate that person for not going all judgemental on me. I hate being judged. I hate being patronised, although that doesn't happen a lot nowadays. Hopefully 'cos I'm scarier now. Rawrrr.


To the people I talk to everyday, to the people I talk to once in a while, to the people who read this blog, I just wanna say I appreciate you and I love you. BIG HUG!


Emotional stuff aside, let's get down to business. I WENT SHOPPING TODAY. Woohoooo! Spent $83 at Forever 21 (yes, again)! Bought a pair of pink pants and a white tee. I think they should close down that evil shop soon. Because I'm spending all my money on their stuff! I am totally addicted! Plus the inventory turnover there is pretty high. If you see a cute top one day and you neglect to buy it the very same day, when you come back (say, a week later) IT WILL ALREADY BE GONE. Yes, this is proven and tested. So beware. You have been warned. Try to avoid Forever 21. But if you do go inside, BUY EVERYTHING IN SIGHT THAT ATTRACTS YOUR ATTENTION. Or you will regret it forever. And ever. And ever. And 21.