Monday, October 11, 2004

lesson #23: guys are stupid!

HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.


Ugh. It doesn't feel really good when a guy you reject go and find himself a nice, sweet, ANGELIC girl to call his own. I realise it's always like this. I'm like, the second best. Did I mention that B liked my best bud Rachel first? And when he finally got the message that she didn't like him in that way, he turned to ME. Because I listened, and because I was "different". Even when he told me he's lost all feelings, the way he phrased it was, "I... I don't like you as a person anymore. I only like you as a girl..." I was crying and tearing and snorting all over the place. Then he went and kissed me. Great. You don't love me but you want to make out with me. Oh, fuck off.


So anyway, about this guy who told me he's got the girlfriend? He told me once that I was a "bad girl" type. And now he is gushing over and over about how sweet his girl was. How kind and wonderful she is. Blah blah BLAH! I whet his appetite for romance and now he's all ready to consume the lurrrve (btw that was consume, not consumate), with someone more appropriate. Of course! Whatever was I expecting? Ugh!


My OG friend also labelled me a "devil" as opposed to his "angel", a girl he's crushing on. He jokingly said, one day while we were chatting, that if not for the angel, he'd have gone for the heart-tempting devil. Yeah. OK.


I have enough of this! I don't want to be the devil, or the bad girl, or the naughty girl or the sex-appeal girl or whatever! It's true, bad girls get all the guys, but good girls get to keep them! Ugh. I am so sick of being the one you turn to when you're down, or vulnerable, or in a crazy infatuation mood which only lasts for a month because you're 16 and stupid.


Even when I was at the clinic earlier today, some stupid guys were checking me out (that sounds gross) and smirking. Ugh. Aren't they supposed to be ill? GO AND GET SICK ALREADY! I am just. So. TIRED!


N - I hope what we have is stronger than this. I hope it's not just something physical. You say you love me. I really hope you know what you're saying. And I hope you beat the shit out of the next Malay guys who sniggered at my short shorts. (Please, there were a lot of girls wearing shorts around Queensway. WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL YOU PERVERTS!)